Would You Date Yourself?

Would you date yourself?

This is a question I asked myself a few years ago while dating in my 40s.

After being married for 17 years to my teenage love and divorced since 2012, dating was a new experience for me. It became an internal and external adventure which taught me a tremendous amount about myself and my own self-love.

I know many of us have a list of all the attributes we want in the perfect partner. My list consisted of over 125 points. It had grown into sections of how I wanted my man to be physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Each time I went on a date, I added to my list. It became really clear what I wanted and didn’t want in a partner.

My list kept growing over the years and focused on what I truly wanted in a man. This list is a very important piece of the manifestation process and I encourage you to write your own list. I believe once you write down your wishes and desires, the universe hears you and provides. I have learned in my personal development industry that the subconscious mind doesn’t have a sense of humour OR knows a negative word. Therefore, saying, “No jealousy” on my list meant I wanted jealousy from a partner, and that I received. Needless to say, after experiencing negative dates, I changed the statement in my list to read, “Confident” and “Open-minded” and “Secure” instead. Being specific and asking the universe to bring him to me with the positive points is a key I found in allowing the process to unfold.

As I kept meeting amazing men who were close to my wishes and desires, I also met men who lovingly challenged me on my own beliefs, values, opinions and direction in life. This led me to dive deeper into my authenticity and ask, “Would I date me?”

If we truly want to align in a partnership and grow together in love, I needed to face myself in the mirror and ask that question. How healed and ready was I for another?

Granted, I had done years of personal development work on myself and at the time, would have said I was perfect! It was the perfect man I needed to find. However, when we believe we have nothing left to learn, that’s when the universe smacks us and teaches us with lessons in love and truth. We are always learning and growing.

I decided to begin dating with a new perspective. I allowed myself to be open and vulnerable with all experiences. Each person I dated gave me an opportunity to share my stories which led me to evaluate if I still had pain in my heart. My words were now shared with insight into my own soul. Was I speaking with love? Was I judging or developing opinions too soon? Was I scared to love again? As much as I loved meeting these men and sharing time with them, I truly appreciated how it made me look deeper into myself.

This allowed for a sacred journey into my own self-discovery. I had thought forgiving sexual abuse, overcoming losing my marriage, having my Dad pass away suddenly, living alone for the first time in my life and struggling financially had taught me all I needed to know about self-love and self-worth. However, the simple act of online dating had me look even deeper into who I had become and how I was still hiding behind the colourful mask. In a nutshell, I was scared to love again.

Although many of us fear dating as adults, I believe we are really fearing finding ourselves. Surrendering and diving into the process forces us to heal and move forward. If we aren’t willing and ready to heal, the same type of partners with the same relationship issues will keep crossing our paths until we see the light.

So, I encourage you to ask yourself, “Would you date yourself”? Is your perfect partner ready for you in all areas of the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness? Granted we are never perfect; however, are you growing, accepting, acknowledging and taking action to be the most loving, authentic self you can be? Are you ready to let go of the old, outdated beliefs, thoughts and feelings to embrace the YOU who you are today and in the future?

If we truly want to find ultimate happiness in any of our relationships, we must be ready and willing to do our own self-worth work.

I’m happy to say, I opened my heart again which attracted an amazing man. Currently, we have been together for a year. We both continue to heal and grow – alone and together. Loving each other through this journey has taught us so much about ourselves. Each day is a new adventure but now the adventure is being explored together – in alignment. Plus, he matches everything on my list! The universe listened and responded.

If you are single, divorced, widowed or alone for any reason, start dating. Commit to the adventure. Learn and grow from the experiences. Not every date will be the perfect fit, but each date will give you beautiful insight into your true authentic self. Plus, each person you encounter will help you meet other amazing people on their own journeys. Some of those people will be your teachers, students or perhaps become friends.

When you look into the mirror and can finally say, “I’d date myself!”, you will know you are ready to attract the perfect relationship filled with love and light.

Enjoy the journey!

Colourfully yours, Angela