Wife on Grandparents: “They Only Like My Husband’s Son from his first marriage; they ignore my son”

Grandchildren competing for stories and attention is not a pleasant thing to see. When they come from different marriages, the way a spouse's parents treat them can influence each holiday or birthday celebrated together.

Is it fair for grandparents to have favorites, or should they find a way to love each grandkid the same way because, even though they may have liked one of the spouses more, it's still their child's kid?

My friend Katrina is trying to figure out her way out of a complicated situation related to her kids' grandparents' behavior. She's Will's second wife, and she's had to deal with plenty of unusual reactions from his family because they liked his first wife much more.

"I don't think it's fair for them to compare us. I never knew her, and it doesn't matter if she made better cookies or could sing all their songs. I'm Will's wife now, and I need to come first. And his siblings and parents should start accepting that," Katrina said.

Will used to be married to Sarah, who passed away five years ago. They had a son together, Samuel, and were happy during their marriage. She got along great with all his family, and Will's parents often told him they felt like she was their daughter, too.

"They thought she was irreplaceable. And they cared so much about her and our baby. Maybe that explains the way they're reacting now," Will said.

Samuel visits his grandparents often, and they love celebrating his birthday and having him come over for the holidays.

Katrina and Will had a son too, Elias. Unfortunately, he doesn't get the same level of attention from Will's parents.

"I lost my own parents ten years ago; they are the only grandparents Elias will ever know. I wish they could be nicer to him and not pretend he's not there most of the time," Katrina said.

There is a marked difference between the way the grandparents treat Samuel and Elias. They always praise Samuel for every accomplishment, give him treats, and answer each question he asks.

When Elias is around, things immediately change.

"If he wants sweets, they will say it's my fault for not teaching him what he should eat. If he has a question, they say he's too loud and turn on the TV, so they don't hear him anymore. Whenever I ask them directly what's going on, they just say they're old, tired, and busy. They're never too tired to play with Samuel, though," Katrina said.

She's talked about it with Will, and he admitted there is a difference, but he hasn't found a way to handle it yet.

"I went to see my parents without the kids, and we had a talk about Samuel and Elias. They conceded they're not as caring and loving to both, but they say they can't change; that it's just logical to see Sarah in her son. And they don't really like Katrina, so they add that whenever they have Elias around. They just suggested I shouldn't bring him to their house if he feels left out," Will said.

The parents don't think it's fair for just one son to have grandparents, but it's hard to convince the grandparents to do anything more for now.

How do you think the couple should handle this situation? Should they avoid taking Samuel and Elias to their grandparents' home unless they agree to treat both kids the same way? Is it justifiable to prefer one grandson simply because you liked his mom more?

Originally published on NewsBreak

Photo by Phillip Goldsberry on Unsplash