Why the Gay Flag Is Causing Bisexual Erasure

by Fries Vonders about a year ago in lgbtq

Neurological Science is used to explain this phenomenon.

Why the Gay Flag Is Causing Bisexual Erasure

Before I explain, let me apologize, I don’t mean to discredit or fault the gay community in any way. I take absolute pride in my homosexuality just as much as any other gay man; however the bisexual community has its own set of issues that need to be acknowledged. If there’s any hope of finding a solution, I’m going to point out the problem to help us do so. Please feel free to share this article and criticize it as much as you want, I just want to find a solution not create problems.

Growing up I always stood up for LGBTQ+ rights, even before I realized I was bisexual. I’d use one of our most popular slogans and tell people It’s not a choice. I still believe that to this day. I started to explore my own sexuality in my freshmen year of high school and realized I was attracted to men too, but sadly like many other budding bisexuals the first thing that came to mind wasn’t that I was bi. Sure, I was bi-curious, but as I kept exploring my curiosity, I got the idea in my head that I would either have to embrace my life as a gay man or just forget about it and call it a phase 5 years later. This is in part due to the idea that you're either born that way or you're not. Hearing my older sister say that after saying she doesn’t believe in the existence of bisexuality was part of what really held me back.

I recently came out to my mother. She was absolutely supportive and of course she made sure to remind me how much she loves me. I was obviously happy to finally be accepted for who I am, but I was still really disappointed to hear her questions about it. Her understanding of bisexuality was synonymous with homosexuality and therefore she asked me questions to see if I preferred one sex over the other, or if I may be going through a phase, or if I’m simply saying I’m bisexual to cover up the fact that I’m gay. Even after clearing up her misconceptions, she told me, “Yea, but eventually you're going have to make a choice.” Assuming I’d eventually become committed to long term monogamous relationship, she told me I’d have to choose to be either Gay or Straight depending on my future partner's gender. That’s why I was disappointed, because instead of accepting me for who I am, I had to dissuade her bias because she just doesn’t understand anything about what it means to be bisexual. Many people truly believe bisexuality is a choice.

The media can be a tool to show people stories they’ve never heard before. It helps people understand the culture, lifestyle, and struggles of people who are unlike them. Representation of different sorts of people in the media is important for that very reason. Representation of bisexuals could have helped me avoid that disappointment, but instead what brought it on was the representation of gay people in the media. Representation of homosexuality in the media is constantly being used as a substitute for bisexuality (which is why I hate seeing stories about gay men leaving their wives for men being portrayed so constantly but I’ll delve deeper into that in another article).

Did you know that objects that appear in your peripheral vision may appear to be black and white, or like shadows. It’s pretty ironic actually, since the gays continue to get representation, but with all the exciting colors of their flag they’re also making the world seem black and white (Gay and Straight). Meanwhile with the lack of representation for bisexuals the colors of our flag seem like a shadow in a corner of the viewer's eyes. To me bisexuality is more than being able to love both genders but it’s being able to love someone despite the gender that defines them.

Bisexual Representation in 'Brooklyn 99'!!!

Best Example Yet

PS: Sorry my science wasn’t really all that. Thanks for reading, and don’t forget to share this along with your opinions.

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Fries Vonders

I’m pretty much trying to do as much as possible to change the way we understand things about each other. Writer, Director, and wannabe philosophist trying to redefine masculinity and create representation. IG: @Ralaxed

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