It's difficult being in a short term or long term relationship. Each of you is handling day to day challenges in your own lives, plus what the two of you accumulate together. Work, parents, friends and social requirements can make a relationship struggle to function normally. Secondary to all that are the readings you get from your man.
As women we struggle with questions that we yearn to have answered but fear asking them. We've all thought to ourselves, "I wonder if he really thinks I'm pretty." or "Does he really not mind that I do that." and "Does he really love me and my body, or is that just what he says out loud."
All these questions, they work their way into our minds until we find ourselves looking at our men asking the questions silently to ourselves. Here's something you may have never realized. Men have questions like that too. They wonder about different topics, and different worries but they still have questions of their own.
What does your man worry about?
You've heard the saying, "Time is money" well this couldn't be truer for men. Most men work with a life currency, it's what determines their worth in the world according to them. Mostly it's about their job and if they can support a family. This is often why men back out of weddings. Sometimes it isn't because he "doesn't" want to marry you, but that he's nervous of being a provider. He's worried that he may not be able to do it financially.
That's not to say that women need taking care of because we don't. We can work, make our own money and support ourselves. However, our men that love us take pride in caring for us. It makes them happy that they can provide for their family. Even if the girlfriend or wife is working. He wants to be able to provide you a nice place to live, good Christmas's and wonderful birthdays. He wants to be secure in knowing that he could take care of you if he was needed. This is especially true if the woman is thinking about being a mother in the future. That is something a man is thinking about constantly. The kids will need college money, school, babysitting, clothes, food and all this costs money. Dare it be said you're surprised by twins. Double the fun, but double the funds needed too.
This is why it's important to sort out priorities in a relationship before it gets too serious, but not when it's still young. Its important for a man who doesn't want kids to know that you do. That might be a tie breaker for him. Alternatively, he may realize that he didn't want kids before because he had not met the right person. Priorities change, but always keeping your significant other privy to those changes can erase a lot of confusion.
Men don't express themselves like women. My dad, as awesome a person as he is, will not ask a waitress for butter because he doesn't want to inconvenience her. Even though the waitress gets paid to bring him butter. Some men are quiet, some men are outspoken, but they always have a difficult time expressing themselves to their women.
Why? Rejection. Judgment. They are afraid to get these things from you. They are afraid, and rightly so, to be accosted when they are simply trying to be honest.
I've seen women taunt, poke and prod men to their breaking point until they snap and then cry and wail when they are hit or pushed. This is not right or moral. Your job as a girlfriend or wife is not to be a bully. You're not "training" your boyfriend/husband. He's a person with emotions and he deserves to be respected just like you.
You are EQUALS. Remember this. Being a woman doesn't make you better, just like being a man doesn't make him better. You both are equal in rights, respect and dignity.
Some men are more capable at some jobs than women, the same goes for some jobs that women do. Each individual is going to be better at something; a better artist, writer, singer, crafter, programmer, laborer, dancer, actor/actress and designer. Someone is good at something, and talent is earned and practiced. Appreciate your man's hard work, praise his enthusiasm to better his position. Support him and he will return the favor.
Men think differently than we do and that's okay. As long as we're honest with each other, clear in our wants and needs, relationships are usually okay.