Why is it so offensive to rush into marriage?

Why is it so offensive to rush into marriage?

Those who have a privileged family, parents open-minded and open-minded people, may never know, for ordinary children and parents, this life can be how difficult and bad.

The four words "hard" and "bad" are embodied in the best way possible when it comes to the matter of marriage.

Those who have not experienced the rush of marriage, let me introduce to you, the rush of marriage is a thing that makes people feel how desperate.

The parents rush the marriage, no matter how to say, most of the time, they are a good intention.

They are worried about their children getting older, not getting married now, it will be more difficult to find someone in the future, and they are worried that in the long road, their children will always be alone and will look lonely, with no one to give care and companionship.

I hope that the child will get married as soon as possible, such feelings, most parents will have should also be understood.

But in reality, when parents are always pushing for marriage young people are particularly resentful.

Either they will directly refute, a variety of singing back, or will a silent protest, simply do not want to chat with their parents.

The children they have worked so hard to raise, but only such an attitude towards themselves, as parents, inevitably will be very sad.

In addition, the mood will be a little bad, but also very will not understand why their children, will be so averse to marriage, and young people will be so, can not just blame them, they are also quite difficult.

There is nothing wrong with pushing for marriage, but if pushing for marriage turns out to be irrational, it's a different story.

As a parent, instead of pushing your child all the time, you should give your child more support and trust. As much as possible, to listen to the child's heart, to run their feelings.

Want to let that child get married this thing, despite the point, for the child to do what they can do.

Most young people are not unaware of their situation, for marriage, they are trying.

There are only two kinds of people who are being urged to get married

Want to get married

If you want to get married, just because some reasons can not be married, or have not found, in fact, ta itself is also very anxious, and then be urged, more anxious, so resent.

Do not want to get married

People who do not want to get married, you urge ta want to get married? Impossible, will only make ta feel in forcing themselves to do things they do not want to do, so resent.

And now young people are not like in the old days, have their thoughts, and ideas, want to go their way, and do not want to be controlled by others. So the feeling of marriage promotion to ta is that others want to control ta's life, control ta's life, and their outlook on life is different, so they will resent it more.

"You're so old and not looking for a boy/girlfriend, don't you know how anxious your parents are?"

"When will you and your boyfriend/girlfriend get married? If you can set it, set it early."

"How old are you, when are you going to have children?" ...... similar to this kind of words, I believe we must have heard more or less in life, either someone else said to others, or someone else said to himself or herself, perhaps he or she also said to others inadvertently.

It is only irresponsible to marry for the sake of marriage, and it is not a woman's duty to have children. Indeed, choosing marriage carefully is a responsible performance for yourself, your life, and your family.

And, women are independent human beings, and no one has the right to dictate to a woman whether she chooses to use her organs or not. Yes, it is an expression of "power", not power.

However, even though many people understand this, they still can't help but spout "marriage" and "birth" comments, why is that? In the end, it's because marriage and childbirth have become a life norm in many people's hearts, a social expectation for individuals.

So much so that many people will default that a person must get married and have children. As humans have age shackles on the matter of "childbirth", people in their twenties and thirties are generally urged to get married and have children. At "this age" still do not get married and do not have children, which is strange and can not be understood. This lack of understanding will not be expressed in the way of "seeking common ground while reserving differences", but in a critical sense, which is also related to our social culture.

Social psychologists often see some social expectations or norms as a negative force that forces people to follow traditions blindly.

"It's just weird for a person to reach an age where they don't get married and have children, and although I can't tell why it's weird or what it has to do with me, I can just go ahead and judge and rail against such weirdness, that is, you have to get married and have children to do it." Such a mentality is widespread in our culture, and social expectations that violate private boundaries in this way are a negative force that blinds people to tradition.

Perhaps they mean no harm, but their minds are simply wrapped up in social expectations and norms, and they ask similar questions without much thought. If we are aware of such "curiosity", we should ask ourselves: "Why do I think people have to get married and have children? Is it true that all people get married and have children and have to get married and have children?"

May everyone be more tolerant of things they don't understand, more respectful of other people's choices about themselves, and more polite.