Why I'm Pissed Off at Frenemies

by Iria Vasquez-Paez about a year ago in friendship

Who I Avoid

Why I'm Pissed Off at Frenemies

Frenemies are people who claim to be your friend while at the same time undermining you. They act open and honest but they are not being straight with you. In fact, that sort of frenemy will never be straight with you. They try to hide their problems from people. This sort of frenemy pretends they have your best interests in mind when really, that is not the case. Some of them want to throw you under the bus. They may or may not know too much about you. This is why you have to dump frenemies since no good comes out of the frenemy relationship.

Frenemies take up your time, often by coming over when they are not wanted to hang out with. They do not respect your boundaries, by the virtue of screaming at you when they are upset with you. Frenemies are also easily jealous of your accomplishments. They do not want to give you what they need or money. Many are busy using your money for themselves. Frenemies are quite toxic, and often do not take care of themselves well. Frenemies make all sorts of excuses as to why they cannot give you gas money or come up with a “good” substitution for it.

Frenemies like skipping their medication doses as well as not following their doctor’s suggestions. They do not have the clearance to mess with their medication doses but they do anyway and expect you to let it slide. This year, I’m inclined not to take this stuff from frenemies who are toxic anyway. I’m going to screen for frenemy behavior more thoroughly, if only because I’m sick to death of the frenemies trying to bring me down. My whole life, I’ve had some epic frenemies.

It is time for me to let go of frenemies. I need real friends, not doomsday naysayers who don’t like whatever I get done. Or those who do not show up in real life since they are busy limiting their lives, even if we do see each other at rituals. The first frenemy started in my family, and shall we say? I was forced to put up with frenemies until I realized I needed to give them the boot on my own or keep my distance. Elementary school was full of aggressive people and their behaviors. I mean I was subject to constant aggression here, so I stuck with people who weren’t going to be mean to me.

Those were the kids who were doing just one school year. We also had some exchange students. Some treated me well, others did not. I started screening toxic people in elementary school. I dropped them pretty fast. By high school I was a pro. In college, however, I was desperate for friends after the roommates were so harsh to me. So I didn’t necessarily screen properly for toxic people until I had an equally harsh awakening that somebody I knew was toxic.

If I have to hear constantly about an abusive relationship, and if this person says her abuser is a good guy instead of seeing the truth, I have to avoid this person now. I have managed to stay away from her for like a year or more by now. I used to go see her, and it was a rather expensive trip. Expensive and exhausting that is. Driving the freeway for longer than half an hour makes me nervous. My car has two tires that need replacing, one with a nail inside, and one with low-threads. This is why I’ve been staying home a lot lately. It is better than driving a car with a problem. Some of my frenemies do not respect my need for alone time. I’m an introvert and half extrovert. I have to take my introversion seriously though. As an introvert, I’m in need of a detox. My frenemies do not understand this about me. If I don’t want to hang out, I do not want to be around people. I dump people who do not understand this about me.

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Iria Vasquez-Paez

I have a B.A. in creative writing from San Francisco State. Can people please donate? I'm very low-income. I need to start an escape the Ferengi plan. 

See all posts by Iria Vasquez-Paez