Why I Haven't Talked to My Best Friend In Two Months

Coming out of high school, I left with one friend. One true friend that didn't do shady stuff behind my back, one friend who actually cared about me and loved me. We always told each other it was us against the world. Going into college, it was just us two. Neither of us had other friends and frankly even when we tried to get a new friend, they didn't connect right with us or we ended up not liking them. If you haven't noticed, in today's society, it's hard to come by girls that are genuine and nice. As of today, we've been friends for seven years, best friends for five or six years. She was my friend soulmate. We trust each other with every piece of information about our lives, we know every single secret there is to know about one another. But about a month or two ago, this all changed. I live in an apartment with my boyfriend. She would spend the night every weekend, along with my little sister most of the time. One weekend, I invited her over. She stayed two nights. The first whole day she left with my younger sister and didn't come back until like 10:30-11pm. I was excited to finally hang out with her, since she left me the whole day. She was talking to this new guy and she wanted to hang out with them. I always told her, she could come to my house and go hang out with a guy, being that her parents are strict. Before I moved out, she did the same thing for me. She would let me tell my mom I was spending the night, and I would hang out with my boyfriend or spend the night at his house. In some drastic measures, I would have to drive 30 minutes all the way to her house just to send a picture of us to my mom or my location so she knew I was with her. So of course, me now being on my own and having my own house, I would repay her the favor.

So she got back that night and then she wouldn't stop talking about the guy and his friends and how she wanted to go hang out with them. We hung out for a little and I ended up falling asleep because I was bored. So her and my younger sister left. They didn't wake me up and ask me if I wanted to go or to even tell me they were going. They hung out with the guys and it was a little party. They didn't end up coming home until 3am, drunk, and they had to have someone come pick them up. I wasn't mad that they went but after they wouldn't stop talking about the guys and the party nonstop. It was kind of annoying, seeing as I didn't go, and didn't know anybody they were talking to. And they also didn't hang out with me the whole day before. Then we wake up the next day after the party and she leaves with my sister to get breakfast for all of us, and they disappear for the whole day again, just them two. They didn't text me and tell me where they were going, they didn't invite me, and truly they didn't care. So my best friend left after the weekend and went home. She texted me the next day apologizing. She said that what she did was wrong and she shouldn't have left me and not told me anything. We talked it over and we were fine. A few days later, I invite her over the next weekend. She straight up says to me, "I'm only hanging out with you this weekend. Just me and you. No boys. They aren't having a party this weekend so it'll be me and you all weekend." I was so excited. (Side note: she had left the whole day with my sister like four times in a row before the weekend of the party.) So I was excited to finally hang out with my best friend and have some alone time. So after she texts me that she texts my younger sister and tells her that she told me she wasn't hanging out with the boys this weekend. My sister said "really we aren't going to?" and she responds with "no no we're going to, I just told her that." LIKE WHAT!? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND?! I didn't know any of this until later, after the fact. So she comes over and we're hanging out and I'm happy. Then my sister gets there and again all they can talk about is the boys. And they say we're hanging out with three of them, come with us please it'll be fun. And I'm thinking to myself, "hmm let me go hang out with three single guys and my single best friend and single sister while my boyfriend, the love of my life, is at home? ... um no." They didn't understand of course, and told me that I should go blah blah blah. So they left and they went. They stayed out all night while I waited at home for them. I fell asleep. So the next day, I left for an hour to get car parts with my boyfriend while they were still sleeping. I came home and they were gone again. They stayed out the whole day and didn't come back until 10:30pm again. Then as soon as they got home, my younger sister started very aggresively saying that the guys were coming over to our house. (Another side note: me and my boyfriend had lived in our apartment for a year and my younger sister just moved in.) She started saying that the boys were allowed to come over because she pays rent and it's her house to. I simply explained to her that it's mine and my boyfriend's apartment that we LET her move into. We are the only reason why she isn't living at home, with our strict parents anymore, so she could've been a lot nicer about the whole situation but no. We also explained to them that my boyfriend knew the guys and they treated him very weirdly and rudely, even though they knew each other since middle school. So of course, he didn't want them to come to his house, duh. Also, I didn't want to have to go sit in my room so they could hang out with them in the front room, that's ridiculous, it's my house. And I wasn't going to stay in the front room with people I don't know and that also treat my boyfriend badly. Makes sense right? So she keeps arguing with me that they're coming over so I text my best friend and politely ask her to hang out with the guys somewhere else, that me and my boyfriend are HER friends, not my younger sister. Her and my sister get back to the apartment from getting food, and my best friend sits on the couch accross from me and doesn't say anything to me. She didn't answer my text and she let my younger sister continue to badger me about letting them come over. I nicely asked them again to hang out with the guys somewhere else and I went to bed because I was tired of the whole situation. They left and hung out with them again and didn't come back until like 1 or 2am. The next day we went to my parents house for paint day. My boyfriend and I left before them because they weren't ready. When they got there, they both ignored me, didn't talk to me, and made it real awkward, in front of my family. My best friend left and went home after the weekend and hasn't talked to me since.

After that weekend, my younger sister and I talked about all of it. We live together so we had to make up at some point. I went over all of it from my point of view, and she understood it. She didn't know that my best friend was ignoring me and that she lied to me. Yes I was mad at my sister because she did play a big part in it, but I was more disappointed and hurt by my best friend. She had never done anything like this before. I didn't understand where it was coming from or why. Me and her laughed at girls we went to high school with when they did dumb shit like this, and I didn't understand why she was now doing stuff like this. It didn't make sense.

My younger sister, my best friend, and I all have a college class together online. Throughout this whole semester, I've always done the quizzes first and gave them the questions so they could find the right answers and get a better score. So my younger sister asks my best friend if she can send the questions after she does her quiz. She said she would. My sister texts her that night and asks if she did the quiz yet. She said yes and my sister asked her to send the questions. She said she forgot, even though we've done the same thing the whole semester. Again, she was acting weird and now towards my sister too. The same thing happened the next week. My sister asked her to take pictures of the questions, she said she would, and then "forgot to". Neither of us understood why she was acting like this. After this she started tweeting and retweeting stuff that seemed like she was coming at me and my sister. We didn't post anything back, we didn't say anything to her. We just let her do her thing.

All of this started in the middle of September. It's now been two months of not talking to her or hanging out with her. Now I may seem like a crybaby or rude for not texting her this whole time or being this bigger person and letting it go. But this hurt me, I have no clue why she would ever do something like this. In our 6 years of being best friends, anytime we ever got in a fight or didn't talk for a few days, I was always the one that had to text her first or talk to her first and apologize, even if I didn't do anything wrong. I told myself I'm not doing that this time. What am I suppose to do? Text her and be friends again and let her think that what she did was okay? No. The few weeks of her doing that stuff just showed me that she is kind of selfish and only cares about herself. She pretended to care that I cried the first time it happened and then she just went and did the same thing the next weekend. Obviously she didn't care. She showed me that hanging out with random guys she just met was more important than spending one night just with her best friend, when we hadn't done that in weeks.

Being as she was my only friend, it's kinda shitty now. I have no one to talk to other than my sister and my boyfriend, and I always feel bad when I talk to him about the same things that are bugging me over and over again, because I know he doesn't want to listen to that stuff, especially girl stuff. But it's different with girls. You and your best friend can talk about the same thing 100x and it won't get boring. So it's been a little lonely lately but I'm waiting it out. I guess it's better to be lonely than to spend your time with somone who doesn't give a shit about you or your time.

xoxo,

absavzz