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Why I believe polyamorous relationships are better

Just one mans opinion

By Robert KegelPublished about a year ago Updated about a year ago 3 min read
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Why I believe polyamorous relationships are better
Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash

Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash

I’ve been Polyamorous on and off for over 20 years.  I’m open to monogamous relationships, they don’t scare me but I’m also very open-minded to having more than one person in a relationship. 

Poly relationships are still pretty taboo. You see more of them around, even Facebook has polyamorous groups that have many members but some still look down on them.  The thing is for a lot of people monogamous relationships don’t work; people cheat but a poly relationship isn’t for them because usually, they’re jealous.  In an Ethical Non-Monogamous (ENM)/Polyamorous relationship, you really have to leave jealousy behind.  You have to look at it like this, people can have more than one love at a time.  Finding your soulmate is like finding a needle in a needle stack.  People do find them, I know someone who has, but it’s rarer than winning the lottery.  I believe though that if you have more than one love, they can make up one soul mate.  Hear me out, say someone is dating three other people, each person is a soulmate puzzle piece, and each person gives them something the other can’t.  We’re taught that a soulmate is two people who are everything to each other but I think we can have that same thing but with more than one person. 

People push themselves into monogamous relationships because they’re told it’s the right thing and the only type of relationship to have.  The thing is we have a divorce rate of 50% and how many of the ones that stay together do so for the kids or because their religion doesn’t believe in divorce or because they need each other moneywise or maybe they’re just comfortable even though they’re not happy?  In a polyamorous relationship, a couple doesn’t have the stress to be everything to one person, they don’t have to worry about getting bored or not getting something from their partner which is why a lot of people cheat.  In an ENM relationship, you have one person who gives you one thing, and another (or more) to give you other things you enjoy.   

Cheating is horrible but peole do it for a reason, usually, because something is missing in the relationship, they’re in.   In an ENM relationship I know the women I’m dating are seeing others and they know I’m seeing others, it’s totally transparent, with no lies, no deception, just love, and truth.  They’re not perfect, no relationship is, but I believe they work out better.   

There are different types of Poly/ENM relationships, there are open (kitchen table) meaning you hang out with each other, you may go on dates and have sex with the people you’re attracted to, or you may just be friends the ones you don’t have feelings for (if you’re straight, the people who are the same sex.)  There are closed which means everyone knows about each other but you don’t meet.  There can also be a mixture of these, maybe someone doesn’t want to be part of the group so they’re dated separately.  Then you have hierarchical which means there is a ranking in the relationship (usually one primary and the rest secondaries).  There is non-hierarchical which is the opposite, everyone is equal.   There are more types of poly relationships but these basic ones are the main kinds, getting too much into it may get confusing so I’ll leave it at this.  

I didn’t write this article to try and change people's minds, I just hope some people have a better understanding of what polyamorous/ENM relationships are and why I think they’re better.  It’s ok if it’s not for you, I won’t judge you.  As long as you find love and you’re happy that’s what matters. 

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About the Creator

Robert Kegel

I'm a rocker, a gamer, a romantic, a Dom, a hiker and l like camping. I'm a geek, who loves Sci-Fi/Fantasy, and technology. I'll try and write about a variety of topics ranging from relationship, tech and every day rants.

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