Why do people struggle against the passage of time?

I still believe that things shouldn't have turned out this way after all this time. In the early morning hours, when everyone is still asleep, I feel like I can see how things might have turned out differently.

Naturally, this prompts me to ask another inquiry.

Why do people struggle against the passage of time? Why do we fight against what is and fixate on what once was or may have been? No one can be certain, but we can dream.

Like you, I've consumed a ton of information encouraging me huge "let go" or "accept what is." I do meditations to remind my weary heart that things change and we can't be connected to the life we had in the past, pushing me to stop dwelling on what may have been and accept the life that exists today.

Yes, all of these statements are true, and I still believe they offer sound, unbiased counsel that we probably all need to hear.

However, I'm also experiencing what I like to refer to as "positivity weariness." I can only attempt to persuade myself that everything will turn out okay and that this is how things were "meant to be" for so long.

Since I really don't believe these things to be true, I suppose I'm sick of trying to persuade myself that they are. I don't feel as though this is how things were intended to be, and I also don't really feel good about it. With fact, I'm still a little disappointed in how everything turned out.

The fact is that we can't always be upbeat. Things that are unfair, unjust, and depressing occur daily to good, loving people. Things just happen; they are not "meant to be," as the saying goes. The path that didn't take place, Andy, may have been the best one or the one that would have been rich with wonderful love and worthwhile experiences.

This wasn't meant to happen.

Therefore, I believe that it was not intended to be this way. We were destined to be partners. I am aware of this truth both when I go to sleep at night and when I wake up in the morning. I cling to it as the only thing keeping me afloat in a sea of uncertainty, even as I want a world in which this isn't my reality.

It makes sense that those who would advise us frequently use phrases like "if it's meant to be, it will be," telling you that "que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be"—always with the greatest of intentions, mind you.

These actions, in my opinion, are a form of survival. Others hold to what is too tightly while some cling to what may have been. They act as though the universe is an unconquerable reality and that everything that has happened was predetermined by a grand cosmic scheme.

It's difficult to consider the innumerable heartaches and problems of this world as being "meant to be," aside from the dubious philosophical implications of this. Together, we all make the world, but sometimes what we produce isn't the "best of all worlds," only, at best, a shoddy facade.

One could say that I am the cynic, but I believe that occasionally people choose the wrong partners, make poor choices, and ruin their life. They occasionally fail to overcome trauma, overcome addictions, and repeatedly act out the same terrible plotlines.

Though tragic, the fact remains. It doesn't imply that things don't go in the opposite direction, but it does imply that things don't go according to plan all the time. Because the idealized version of the universe is considerably different from what we often see in front of us (if you're an idealist/cynic like myself).

The Amount of Positive and Negative Thinking

I'm not making a case for pessimism. That is not, in my opinion, the best perspective on life (although I can be very cynical sometimes). This can wind up acting as a crutch in the same way that being too optimistic does.

Any direction taken too far can distort your eyesight and impair your judgment. Being overly optimistic or overly pessimistic can make you oblivious to the dangers in this world and out of touch with all of its incredible miracles and unfathomable beauty, respectively.

So where am I at this point? How do I reconcile the fact that you're gone with this emotion, this anguish in my heart that tells me we were meant to be together? In the midst of all of humanity's mistakes and half-truths, how do I comprehend the inner workings of my own heart?

Do you still accompany me?

Even Nevertheless, the years pass and we continue to dream. We are awake at night as our minds are quiet and the thoughts come to us. You appear to be lying next to me now that I can see you clearly once again.

And we're still united in this dream. Maybe even though we don't communicate, you and I dreamed together that we were still together in some other universe, proving that our dream lives are just as real as our waking ones.

So, yeah, I still maintain that it wasn't meant to be this way. You cannot persuade me otherwise.

Since no one can truly predict what drives a person's emotions, I don't believe it is bad to feel this way. Who knows why you went, and who knows why I cling to our love like it's the last bit of water in a parched planet.

And certainly, no matter where you are, I still adore you. If you've ever closed your eyes and imagined that I was with you, it's because I still am, every step of the way, in the world of dreams.