Why Do I Have Such a Hard Time Accepting Others Differences?

“Human beings, especially those who differ from us, are unpredictable and hard to control. And so, our need to control our environment – which includes other people – may make it hard for us to accept people who don't behave in the way we want them to. Of course, our prejudices also play an important part” Dumblittleman

I have to come clean. I have been having the hardest time accepting others for who they are as of late. I don’t see myself as a cold person, but if you didn’t know me you would definitely think I was stand-offish.

I like certain people and I feel like it’s a feeling that I get right away. I would call it energy or a vibe they have that makes me either want to get to know someone better or assume that we have nothing in common and not even consider this person for a friendship.

People have said they thought I was judgey or bitchy before and I believe it to be true, but here I am coming clean as I sincerely would like to accept others for who they are even if/when they are different than me.

I can easily brush people off, say at work when I find us to not have anything in particular to talk about, but am I moving too fast? I notice that some people around me are a lot nicer and more willing to have conversations that to me seem boring and uninteresting.

I like talking about emotions and mental health. I like digging deep and talking about books I’ve read or places I’ve visited. Just sitting around talking about kitchen cabinets or the weather makes me want to run away.

I honestly feel like those surface-level conversations drain my energy. I get excited and engaged with people when we can share our truths and talk about real things that are going on in our lives; the good and the not so good.

I like people I can be real with and laugh with.

There are certain people I don’t mesh with and up until now I didn’t give it much thought, but some of these people I have to see on a regular basis and I wonder how I can change to adapt to being more personable to all kinds of people, not just the ones I vibe with.

Is it my own insecurity that makes me stand-offish towards others? Am I too sensitive to be around people who have maybe a lower vibration and it drains my energy?

I know I don’t have to like everyone and I am glad because I hardly like anyone, kidding, but not really. I have a hard time warming up to others and making friends. I truly believe I am judging a book by its cover and I know that is not okay.

I struggle. I am bringing awareness to the problem so I can solve it, but I am not sure how. Sometimes writing brings clarity so here I am.

I know in caveman times we needed to classify people to feel safe and I can feel that reptilian brain of mine doing the same thing. Sizing everyone up as either a threat, safe, or unworthy of my time.

It sounds brutal but that’s the truth.

Here’s to being more open-minded in the new year. I will try to become more aware of my habits with others so that I can decide if it’s working for me so I can figure out what needs to change. Sometimes just by sharing it out loud, I get a new perspective.