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Why Do I Have Such a Hard Time Accepting Others Differences?

My judgemental side is getting the best of me.

By Melissa SteussyPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 3 min read
Why Do I Have Such a Hard Time Accepting Others Differences?
Photo by Katsiaryna Endruszkiewicz on Unsplash

“Human beings, especially those who differ from us, are unpredictable and hard to control. And so, our need to control our environment – which includes other people – may make it hard for us to accept people who don't behave in the way we want them to. Of course, our prejudices also play an important part” Dumblittleman

I have to come clean. I have been having the hardest time accepting others for who they are as of late. I don’t see myself as a cold person, but if you didn’t know me you would definitely think I was stand-offish.

I like certain people and I feel like it’s a feeling that I get right away. I would call it energy or a vibe they have that makes me either want to get to know someone better or assume that we have nothing in common and not even consider this person for a friendship.

People have said they thought I was judgey or bitchy before and I believe it to be true, but here I am coming clean as I sincerely would like to accept others for who they are even if/when they are different than me.

I can easily brush people off, say at work when I find us to not have anything in particular to talk about, but am I moving too fast? I notice that some people around me are a lot nicer and more willing to have conversations that to me seem boring and uninteresting.

I like talking about emotions and mental health. I like digging deep and talking about books I’ve read or places I’ve visited. Just sitting around talking about kitchen cabinets or the weather makes me want to run away.

I honestly feel like those surface-level conversations drain my energy. I get excited and engaged with people when we can share our truths and talk about real things that are going on in our lives; the good and the not so good.

I like people I can be real with and laugh with.

There are certain people I don’t mesh with and up until now I didn’t give it much thought, but some of these people I have to see on a regular basis and I wonder how I can change to adapt to being more personable to all kinds of people, not just the ones I vibe with.

Is it my own insecurity that makes me stand-offish towards others? Am I too sensitive to be around people who have maybe a lower vibration and it drains my energy?

I know I don’t have to like everyone and I am glad because I hardly like anyone, kidding, but not really. I have a hard time warming up to others and making friends. I truly believe I am judging a book by its cover and I know that is not okay.

I struggle. I am bringing awareness to the problem so I can solve it, but I am not sure how. Sometimes writing brings clarity so here I am.

I know in caveman times we needed to classify people to feel safe and I can feel that reptilian brain of mine doing the same thing. Sizing everyone up as either a threat, safe, or unworthy of my time.

It sounds brutal but that’s the truth.

Here’s to being more open-minded in the new year. I will try to become more aware of my habits with others so that I can decide if it’s working for me so I can figure out what needs to change. Sometimes just by sharing it out loud, I get a new perspective.


About the Creator

Melissa Steussy

Author of Let Your Privates Breathe-Breaking the Cycle of Addiction and Family Dysfunction. Available at The Black Hat Press:

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