Why do Guys Want to ‘Get to Know me Better’?

I can understand getting a random comment once in a while that has nothing to do with my article. I am referring to the usual culprits — spammers, scammers and yes, the flying monkeys of a troll whom I blocked but who nevertheless continues to persist.

My response is to Report and Block them all.

But of late, I have been receiving comments from guys who would like to get to know me better. Mind you, none are crass or explicit but mostly polite inquiries. Some even leave their phone numbers fully expecting me to reach out.

Has this happened to you?

I mean I get it when people reach out to me with regards to writing and am happy to help with feedback and tips. But I draw the line when it is about pursuing a personal connection.

My question is, you already know me as a writer on this platform (what with some 60ish articles under the belt) so why on earth would you want to know me better as a person?

In case you didn’t know, I’m here to write and connect with like minded people who share a common love for writing and desire to further hone their craft.

I am not on Medium in search of love or companionship.

And I am sure there are other websites out there that primarily cater to these kinds of things.

Think Tinder, Match and Plenty of Fish.

With so many dating websites to choose from, why come to a platform for writers and readers in order to look for ‘friends?’

Baffling to say the least.

“Social media is a great tool to meet interesting people and create relationships, but you must be smart about it" — Huffington Post

Since I started receiving these comments, I’ve wondered why some think it’s okay to treat Medium as a dating site. What I’ve discovered is that it is not uncommon for people to use social media platforms such as Twitter and Instagram to find a potential date or love for that matter.

An article published in Bustle explains why — “Due to instantaneous connections and the ability to scroll through someone’s likes, dislikes, and their fave memes, it’s pretty easy to find common interests with someone and to slide into their DMs to initiate a conversation.”

At the same time the article cautions against treating social media as a dating site. The reason for this is as follows “Finding love online comes with risks, as does dating on apps like Tinder or Bumble. It’s extremely easy to come across as someone you’re not when interacting online.”

Perhaps that is why social media is said to be the first point of contact for romance scammers.

In other words be vigilant, set clear cut boundaries and report/block anyone who you think is not respecting those boundaries.

Same goes with regards to spammers. Remember the cryptocurrency spammer who popped up in everyone’s comments?

In her article for TNW, Jamie Tolentino describes spam as follows- “Spam can be defined as irrelevant or unsolicited messages sent over the Internet.”

She goes on to point out 5 types of social media spam to look out for.

Bulk messaging: This refers to the sending of the same message to a group of people within a short period of time with the purpose of spreading malware or advertisement.

Fraudulent reviews: Setting up fake accounts with fake personas that enable spammers to post fake reviews.

Sharing undesired or excessive content: This is achieved by setting up bots to automatically message users.

Click baiting and likejacking: I think clickbait is a term Mediumites are quite familiar with. But what is likejacking? In her article, author Jamie Tolentino describes it in this way “Likejacking is the act of tricking users to post a Facebook status update for a certain site without the user’s prior knowledge or intent.”

Do any of them sound familiar?

I think we can agree that all these things negatively impact the user experience on social media and on that note, can I get a yay from my fellow writers who are all for a scammer, spammer and unwelcome suitors -free platform?

Originally published on Medium