Why Courting and Dating is Important

How long does it really take to get to know someone? A week? A Month? Six? What's your time line?

So quickly people fall in like with the idea of a person. What we see on social media, what we see in our dreams and even what people want us to see.

A lot of times in the first few months that we meet someone new we are at their award’s show. They are all dressed up in their red carpet's best, their makeup is just right, they say all the right things and they smell really good...like they took a bath and everything. It's rare that people are exactly who they show you they are from the beginning. Now, there are quite a few genuine people in the world...I'd like to think that I am one of them, however there are also quite a few Imposters.

Imposter: a person who pretends to be someone else in order to deceive others.

Imposters are just one of many reasons why you should not skip dating and courting! That shits so important.

WHY DATE?

Courting and Dating are not the same thing! Dating is the time before a relationship starts when two people get to know one another while keeping a respectful distance with little-to-no intimacy and assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship. While courting is the stage after dating with marriage as its direct goal. It is now an exclusive romantic relationship that may lead to next step possibilities like, moving in together or/and marriage.

Dating can do away with meaningless flings. It is imperative that in the Dating stage you be completely honest. If you snore when you sleep, tell them. If your middle toe is longer than your big toe on your left foot, let them know! If you happen to have a mental illness, disclose this. Give your potential partner the option of moving forward with the 'courtship', don't take away their options. It will bite you in the end.

Put all your cards on the table! If you want to be married within the next year and have a bun in the oven in the next two, this is something you should disclose upfront. If the person that you are dating does not want the same things, you know that this relationship would just be a waste of your time, especially if this is not something that you are willing to compromise on. If you wait until the courtship stage to disclose this piece of important information, you could have possibly wasted not just your time but the other party involved as well.

In a Dating, you show the other party that you are interested in them. You pursue them. I am not saying that you follow and stalk them...don't do that...you can go to jail for stuff like that. What I am saying is that you should show the person that you are serious about being more than friends, or dating them. Show them that they are the one that you are choosing.

WHY COURT?

Oh, you Courting now? So, you decided to be all exclusive and stuff...that's cute! At this stage, you are in a whole relationship. You might be texting every hour or talking on the phone until you fall asleep. You have 'lil pet names for one another and you even love hearing the sound of the other person's voice on the phone...y’all cute!

In courtship you now have other people involved, the besties, the parents and maybe even the grandparents and in some cases children from previous relationships (because what we are not going to do is bring children into a dating situation). This act of introduction shows a level of seriousness that dating does not offer. When you start to introduce your new person to the important people in your circle that forms a totally different dynamic. You really like this person. You see a future with this person. This is not a hit it and quit it situation. This person is not, or should not be here today and gone tomorrow.

Intimacy hits different during courtship. Conversations are different during courtship. Time spent together is different and so precious during courtship. You two should be on the same page and that’s looking toward the future.

You have to, need to get to know a person before getting intimate with said person. Transference of energy is a real thing. If you are looking for something more than just 'in the mean time between time' take your time and date. Take your time and court. This doesn't have to be an expensive process but trust me, it will save you money on separation and/or divorce in the end.

For more content please follow my I Write, I Author, I Poet page on Facebook, my YouTube channel EveryThing IS EveryThing and my Instagram KlassicGurl.