Where Do You Belong?
Find Your Place in Our Complex World
Belonging — the feeling of being comfortable and happy in a particular situation, or with a particular group of people, and being treated as a full member of the group. (Source: Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary)
Have you ever thought about where you truly belong? Where is your favorite place? Who are your people? What makes You feel happy?
Can you see yourself in this place with those people? What does it feel like when you belong?
It feels good, right?
Belonging is something we all struggle with from time to time, whether it’s to fit into a specific high school crowd, a sports team, a church or place of work.
We try harder to fit in where we want to be.
Everyone wants to be accepted by the right crowd, and with those who can energize us.
We want to be respected and valued for who we are.
Belonging is something I struggled with when I was growing up and sometimes I still question my choices.
As an abused child who also faced unspeakable trauma, I never felt like I belonged with anyone. I was always second guessing my choices and the habit has stuck with me.
Do you sometimes wonder if you belong where you are?
Are you in the right career?
Did you settle in the safest place for your growing family?
Can you do more with your life?
I think we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t keep wondering…
What if?
Have you ever felt that you were different from those around you?
Maybe that job you fought so hard to get a decade ago, doesn’t feel the same anymore? The excitement you felt just from going to work in the morning isn't there anymore.
I get it. The novelty wears off. You get stuck into a routine, and everything is good, right?
Evaluating where we are, is vital to help us grow and belong with those who have our best interests at heart. Even if that means to let us go and start another chapter in life.
I often have the feeling that people don’t connect well anymore. Misunderstandings and prejudice arise far too often, where a conversation may have been able to fix a problem before it escalated.
Right now we are the most connected people, and yet many struggle to get their voices heard. There is too much noise all the time.
I wonder why we don’t make an effort to learn more about each other before we judge. Why are we so quick to dismiss people who might turn out to be the people we belong with?
Over the years, I’ve gathered snippets of what belonging means.
Belonging is when you feel safe in a group of people. Where you can be yourself without having to pretend to be someone else. We all wear different masks depending on who and where you are, but the people you belong with — they see the true you.
It could be your family if you are lucky enough to have them. It could be a group of friends that have stayed together since middle school. It might be a group from your old football team that stayed together over the years.
When you trust and know that a person has your back, no matter what. A person who cares about you — a friend that will not betray you when the going gets tough.
That’s belonging.
Belonging should never feel forced or a chore. If you have to try hard to fit in, then that place, or those people are not your people. The best thing you can do in that situation is walk away.
Life is too short to feel unwanted and invisible. Find where you belong and when you do, you will know what I mean.
My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.
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For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com
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More from Lizzy Woods:
The Power of Hello
https://medium.com/activated-thinker/the-power-of-hello-14d9b805ab21
How Do You Communicate?
https://medium.com/illumination/how-do-you-communicate-3cc585083804
A Change in Perspective
https://medium.com/illumination/a-change-in-perspective-742817c4c2e6
About the Creator
Elizabeth Woods
My name is Lizzy and I'm a mom, an author, school teacher and an MFA creative writing graduate. I write emotion-filled fiction narratives and mental health articles. This is my website: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com
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