When we say that a person has no ego

When we say that a person has no ego, the following ideas may exist: this person has no opinion, likes to please others, people follow the clouds, lack of personal position; does not know how to love and cherish oneself, lack of self-esteem, also has no enterprise, easy to rely on others, like an overgrown child to worry about.

In short, the absence of self is a deplorable thing, it reflects part of the problems of a person's character.

However, we must also pay attention to the problem that this "no self" is actually a subjective view of the person. When a person says "you have no ego" to another person, it actually includes the individual's prejudice against others.

For example, if a child plays games at home and never does homework, the parent gets angry and takes away the child's game handle and says to the child, "You are so ignorant, look at the class president, he will start doing his homework when he gets home and gets good grades, but you just fail, you have no ego at all and you don't know what shame is. "

You will find that when parents say this to their children, there is sarcasm in it, comparing their own children with the class president. Is the child really lacking in ego? Not necessarily. Maybe he has finished his homework and just wants to relax and play some games. It is not right for parents to accuse their children without asking questions, at least you have to understand the situation before evaluating their behavior.

In the process of interacting with people, you have to listen more patiently and respect other people's feelings, not too much to "no ego" hanging on the lips, this behavior will also lead to the dissatisfaction of others.

Excluding prejudice, a person has no ego, what personality problems will exist?

1, easy to low self-esteem. People without ego are more likely to care about the evaluation of others, will focus on others. Other people's eyes will determine the individual's thoughts and behavior. For example, your parents say to you that it's time to get married at 25. People who lack ego often tend to follow the views of their parents and take action, and wait until they get married before they realize that they regret it, if they had known not to get married, they would not have so much trouble.

2, interpersonal relationship distress. When there is no ego, interpersonal relationships will not be too good, easy to start conflicts with others. Because of the lack of self, often give people a state of submissiveness, resulting in an unequal experience. The process of interpersonal relationships together, is the need for mutual understanding and support, the lack of positive experience, and sooner or later the good relationship will be contradictory, and then lead to psychological discomfort.

3, more cowardly. It is difficult to have self-confidence when there is no ego. Lack of self-confidence, will always devalue their own behavior, no matter what they do, there will be "I am bad, useless people, everyone looks down on me" idea. After a long time, it will fall into a state of emotional depression, can not be interested in anything, work, life frustration.

In addition to these three points, the lack of self also leads to a lack of boundaries in interpersonal relations. If others are good to them, they will like and admire them; if they are not good, they will reject them very much, and there is hostility inside, and they will fall into the state of either black or white, right or wrong, ignoring the changeability of people. Either too pleasing, praying that others do not abandon them; or the other party to the point of depreciation to the ten evils, once you do something wrong, will think that the other party is the big bad.

People who have no ego will be unhappy in many aspects of life, seemingly on the surface can be happy with everyone together, but inside is very lonely, similar to the "empty heart" process.

So how can we change this situation?

In fact, having a self is a very grand thing, and everyone's life is a search for the meaning of life. In my opinion, in order to own oneself, one must first "accept oneself and find the time to belong to oneself". The so-called acceptance, is to not forget the original intention, find what you want to do, persistently do, even if the next person has any criticism, but also to be unmoved, can carry the pressure of the surrounding people.

This statement seems simple, but it is very difficult to achieve. You will find yourself doing it, it is too difficult not to be influenced by others, your parents, friends and colleagues, will instill you with various views. People with weak will are easily influenced by others and give up their dreams.

People who have an ego must be strong inside and not afraid of the views of all parties, especially above their personal goals in life, and will not back down once they have paid for them.

Let yourself become resolute and decisive, is the basis of having a self.

Secondly, the ego does not mean "conceited", the goal of the ego should be confident, independent in the face of things, it does not go against human feelings, as long as you agree, in line with the objective laws and good feelings of the decision, can be adhered to. People's words or have to have an opinion, not what others say, they are led by the nose, have to have a dialectical logic of thinking.

For example, if someone tells you that investing in houses is profitable, you don't have to take this as a "holy order" after listening to it. You can assess the market environment, the impact of factors such as the epidemic, how the market's purchasing power, and then make a decision after understanding the situation. I know what is right or wrong, and I believe I have the judgment to make the best decision.

In other words, other people think things, you do not need to look at this matter "too absolute". You can reserve your opinion inside and make the behavior that best meets your interests and views.

If you can do these two things, you will slowly improve your self-confidence, self-acceptance and ownership of yourself will follow.