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When To Leave A Marriage With Kids (How Do You Know When You Should End A Marriage)

If you're wondering when to leave a marriage with kids, then you're probably going through a ton of terrible stress right now. It's not fun, and I'm truly sorry for what you have to go through. This happens to a lot of marriages and frankly there's usually one main reason that causes you to be in a position where you're thinking how do you know when you should end a marriage.

By Everly NovaPublished 2 years ago 6 min read

When you marry your partner, it goes without saying that you truly love and trust that person so much. But what happens if the trust you have for him/her got broken? Would you resort to ending the relationship and file for a divorce right on? Read on to find out when to divorce your partner.

If You Found Out Your Partner Is Cheating On You

Nobody said that cheating within a marriage is good - it is obviously not a good thing. But remember that there are reasons why your partner cheats on you, so it is best that you both talk about it in order to address whatever shortcomings that you may have. In situations such as these, do not rush into filing for a divorce right away, because it might be better if you just forgive each other and mend things out... although in the end, the decision will still be yours.

You Lose Physical Attraction to Your Spouse

So when to divorce your partner? Is it when you feel like you are no longer attracted to him/her that your sex drive is already affected? Well, absolutely not - these things can still be fixed, and the best way is to go on counseling or see a doctor. It's really sad to know that some people would decide to end their relationship just because they no longer find their partner attractive at all, that they even forego making love to them because they no longer have the drive to do so. Talk to your partner and decide what your best options are.

When You Are In an Abusive Relationship

If you are in a relationship where your spouse abuses you physically and emotionally, then that is a good indication that it is time to end the marriage and file for a divorce. Remember this - if you feel you are being abused by your spouse physically or even verbally, you have to quit the marriage right away no matter how painful the decision is. No one deserves an abusive partner, and you could be wrong to think that he will change his attitude - leave now, before it gets even worse.

Remember that there are no relationship issues that cannot be addressed with, and divorce is not always the best solution when your marriage is in trouble. At first, you might break down and decide to quit right then and there, but remember that once you are already divorced, there is no turning back anymore, and it is no longer that easy to fix a divorced marriage. When you are faced with problems in your marriage and you ask when to divorce your partner, it is best that you first give yourself a break - go on a vacation in order to give yourself ample time to think on whether it is best to end your marriage or not... and again, in the end, it is only you who can decide.

Are You Thinking of Leaving Or Ending Your Marriage?

Sometimes when we fantasize about leaving or ending our marriage, it's not because we're fighting with our spouse, or because we're angry, or because we don't like or love them... It's often simply because we feel bored and don't feel the spark that we felt any more.

Maybe you're feeling that life with your spouse has become dull and routine, rather than interesting and engaging.

If this is the case, rest assured you are definitely not alone! The reality is that most marriages will feel stale and lifeless at times and that's quite normal.

As a Psychotherapist in Private Practice I spend a lot of time helping people work through these feelings and find new hope and new energy in their relationships.

So what do you do when you feel bored in your marriage or when you're deciding whether to leave or end your marriage, or to save your marriage?

First, know that "all is not lost"! There is, indeed, hope for you to feel invigorated, excited and alive in your relationship again. And, contrary to the thoughts you might be having as you're reading this, it's not going to take too much hard work, just a bit of a change in your focus and a willingness to go outside your usual comfort zone.

In fact, probably the hardest part of saving your marriage is making a decision that you're ready to take the action steps that will do just that, despite feeling that you're not (yet) getting what you need...

Step 1: Decide that for the next 3 to 6 months you're going to do all that you can do to save your marriage (despite your fears)

This is a small step, but an important one. If you've been considering leaving your marriage at all, then chances are that you've had one foot out of the marriage and one foot in the marriage for a little while now.

Now is a time to decide that you are willing and committed to investing 3 to 6 months from today to save your marriage. Tell yourself...

"For the next 6 months, I'm going to focus on doing everything I can to save my marriage... I'm going to commit to this despite my fear that it won't change and despite my fear that my spouse isn't interested in saving our marriage!"

Step 2: Do the things that you can do to reignite the spark and rebuild your relationship. Save your marriage.

There are many things that you can do to turn your relationship around. Some you can start with are:

Re-invest energy into the relationship side of the marriage

When you met your spouse, there were probably things that you enjoyed sharing and doing together that made you feel connected and close to each other. These may have been outings, dates, events, activities, etc. Do you still do those together?

Maybe it's time to think about having "date nights". These are times that you specifically schedule into your diary where you spend time together "dating each other" again. Going out to a restaurant or film or picnic/walk together and actually consciously talking about each other and what you want. Often couples end up talking about finances, kids, extended families, pets, etc. While this is important, talking about each other's needs is just as important and helps you re-invest energy into your relationship and save your marriage.

Listen to each other with fresh ears

Often we have developed an expectation of what each other will say, and so we're so busy "knowing what they'll say" that we don't delve in and ask each other what they need or how they feel. I'm not saying that you need to become their therapist (That's my job). I'm simply saying that if you actually really listen to what your partner is saying with 100% attention, you might hear something that makes them more interesting.

Ask more questions

When we "know" someone, we stop asking them questions and trying to understand them. Did you know that the simple act of asking questions and really listening to the answer can have your spouse (and I'm guessing you too) start to feel really engaged and connected again? Try it, you might be surprised at how well it works.

Create shared goals and visions that don't necessarily include finances

Often the mere act of living as a joint unit can leave us making only goals that are about getting by week-to-week, or achieving financial goals. How about making some goals together, really spending the time together to talk about what your dreams and visions are, and setting some extraordinary and fun goals together?

And many more...

Naturally there are many other things you can do to reignite the spark in your relationship. But starting with these few can be a great way to really start to change the dynamic of your marriage and help you start to save your marriage today!

Thinking about regaining the status of "Happily Married"? It is possible, and is not difficult if you think it is not. But exactly how you do so? If you would like the source most couples used to revive their relationship, strengthened their marriage, regain trust and love in the marriage and not giving up then visit Secrets To A Happy Marriage

Now you can stop your divorce or lover's rejection…even if your situation seems hopeless! There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying… Visit this Helpful Site to find out more.

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    ENWritten by Everly Nova

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