When Someone Lies to You or Treats You Badly, the Problem Is in Him, Not in You

From time to time, we all face betrayal and lying on the part of our partners - the only difference is the way we relate to all this…

When in the past I was confronted with a betrayal of a seemingly close person, first of all, I thought I was to blame, that I had pushed him into betrayal.

Then I was convinced that something was wrong with me. I never felt fully worthy of love. It seemed to me that I was not beautiful enough, neither smart nor talented… There is nothing enough, in general.

And I had to go a long way to achieve a simple fact: when someone treats me in an unworthy way, it has nothing to do with me. The behavior of other people about us says a lot about them and nothing (or almost nothing) about us.

And I finally realized that when I exchanged women for women, it was primarily because of his deep self-doubt and his desire to prove that he was some kind of alpha male and not because he was supposed to " I'm not good enough. "

It was his problem, not mine. His ego desperately needed nourishment, for which he used relationships with other women - simply because he was not emotionally or intellectually developed enough to overcome his complexes.

I think we all need to be mature enough to take full responsibility for our feelings and not try to put them behind someone else. I felt almost sorry for him because he was convinced that he could only get happiness from an external source. And to increase his self-esteem, he needs other women.

Before I knew it, betraying a loved one would tear my world to pieces. It seemed to me that his actions automatically made me unworthy not only of his love but of love in general.

But now I understand who I am and I understand that no one can take that from me. We are all born worthy - worthy of love and a good life, worthy of happiness and the pursuit of our dreams.

I am a complete personality, full of rights and I am worthy of everything I dreamed of.

I realized that I was more than worthy of love and fidelity, and if someone doesn't want or can't treat me the way I feel about him, it's not my fault and that doesn't say anything about my personality.

I realized that I should pursue my interests first and foremost love myself enough to get out of situations and people that cause pain over time.

Now I understand that I am a wonderful person with full rights and I do not need someone to "complete" me.

Love is the embodiment of pure positive energy. If someone tries to break your wings, this is not love. This is an attempt to control and control yourself. Control is based on the fact that you have to need "your soul mate" and not imagine your life without it. It is anything but positive energy because control is always based on fear.

I never understood when they told me that "love alone is not enough." Love is always enough, only it should be true love, manifested by loving actions and not in empty words, even if those words are arbitrarily beautiful.

You can't say you love someone and at the same time lie to that person - love and falsehood are mutually exclusive concepts.

I want to share with you the main things I understood in my past failed relationships:

1. When a partner cheats on you or lies to you, he is never directly related to you.

You are always good enough, even when your partner's words and actions make you doubt it.

2. Your self-esteem depends only on how you perceive yourself and nothing else.

And certainly not from how much you weigh, if you are in a relationship, or how prestigious your work is.

3. Love is never bad. Love is wonderful, pure, and simple.

Deception is bad and painful, lying is bad, a broken heart is bad, but all these things have nothing to do with love.

4. Just because your last relationship failed doesn't mean the next one will.

Don't give up on love - it's better to give up on people who have tried to prove to you that love is bad.

"The Strongest and Longest Personal Relationship You'll Ever Have is a Relationship to Yourself," Steve Maraboli