When life and death imitate art

As I have grown older I realize that a lot of what we consider to be "art" has been imitating real life, only I did not know it. There is much that I thought was made up for television shows and movies, that I now know was based on real life events. I am about to share something that recently took place which I must say is a situation where my life imitated art. I have nothing else to compare it to except what I saw while watching a film. My husband suffered a massive stroke last October and each time he showed signs of recovery it seemed something would set him back. Doctors in 2 hospitals gave up on him many times but he always pulled through.

In the past, he came back from a heart attack, heart failure, diabetes, and a kidney infection. He was placed on an expensive medication that was $1300 a month but his body healed and he no longer needed it after his 30 sample supply ran out. He was told he would need a defibrillator, and later a pacemaker but again improved and neither was necessary. After the kidney infection, one nurse called him a miracle and said that based on what was written in his records he should have already been dead. We dubbed him Miracle Mike and believed he would survive everything until he did not.

This last medical crisis had us hearing turn off the life support, make him comfortable. They turned off the life support but he began breathing on his own. As a precautionary measure, a tracheostomy was done and a hose with oxygen was placed over it. Soon, however, he improved again and the trach hose was removed and he only had a little nozzle in his throat and a collar around his neck. After 4 months of being hospitalized, he was allowed to come home after a pressure wound on his backside began to heal.

On Friday, March 5, of this year he was sleeping in a hospital bed in our home and the family was caring for him with the help of nurses. The nurse who was with him that day took his blood pressure and said she could not get a reading and told me he was transitioning. His pressure came back up after she left and I thought this was a good sign. Later that night as our daughter was preparing to go home, I was looking through the television listings to find something to watch, and my daughter pointed out the movie Ghost. She said she might watch it when she went home and I decided this would be the film I would also view this night.

I checked my husband's blood pressure and it was holding steady so after my daughter went home I began watching Ghost. About halfway through the film, a startling reality came to me. I recalled that near the end, Oda Mae," (Whoopi Goldberg) told Sam Wheat,(Patrick Swayze) that "they" were waiting for him. During the movie, black shadows had appeared that seemed to take certain characters to hell. Sam, however, was illuminated with a bright light and "they" seemed to be a large number of beings,l I presumed to be angels and they were surrounded by an even more brilliant light.

I turned the television off and said out loud that heaven could wait. I whispered to my husband that if he had any more fight in him to please fight to stay with me as long as he could. The next morning his blood pressure went from nonexistent, to 45/33, and then up to 107/90 around noon. The nurse had said it could fluctuate but I was believing this was a sign of recovery. I recalled that my mother had no BP reading before she died and I assumed that if his pressure was back in the normal range that things were turning around.

All through that morning, the scene from Ghost kept coming to mind and I kept repeating that heaven could wait. If that movie was a sign of what I was thinking I did not want to accept it. My daughter came over at about 1 and she had a really bad migraine so she lay down on the bed in the room opposite the living room. At about 2:30 I was seated on the couch looking at my spouse when suddenly the room became extremely bright, It was as if someone opened the curtains and let the sunshine through in all its glory.

At the same time, I experienced an unusual sense of peace and calm that reminded me of church services where when this happened it was said that the presence of the Almighty was in the room. I perceived that just like in the movie Ghost, "they" had arrived and were waiting and again I told heaven that it could wait. My daughter walked to the living room door at this point and I thought she said "Do you feel that peace," so I responded with "Oh you feel it too." She later told me that what she had said was that her dad looked as if he were at peace. His complexion that day was smooth and clear as if he were years younger and his gray hair glistened.

The next morning I woke up at 5:00 AM to bathe and change him and I put on his favorite gospel music. For some reason, I took extra time with everything I did for him. His BP was staying at around 55/35 but I continued to hope and pray. I wondered if my unseen guests from the day before had heeded my voice and gone away? At 12:30 our oldest son came to sit with his dad while I ran errands. As I was driving I screamed that heaven could wait and that "they" needed to back off and let me have more time with my spouse. I was shouting and crying because deep down I think I knew what was about to unfold.

I returned home at about 1:20 and my son said at that moment "Look at dad moving." My husband lifted his head slightly and turned to his right which is what he did when he was trying to follow a voice. There was no one seated there so I wondered what he was seeing or perceiving. Still, I told my son that this was a good sign and I also noticed that his breathing was normal. On Friday his breaths were somewhat labored but now it was as if he were improving.

My son left the room and I turned my back to straighten to pillows on the couch. When I turned back I knew my husband was gone. Our daughter who has asthma had said on Friday as he struggled to breathe that she did not want to think about him gasping for his last breaths. Her prayer was answered because he went without a sound. "They" waited until no one was watching and took him home. Bruce Joel Rubin wrote the screenplay for the movie Ghost and I have to wonder if he based it on real examples, because in the movie "they" waited for Sam to finish his business. In my experience "they" gave me one more day with my husband.