What Happened to My Best Friend?

by Natalia Crenshaw about a year ago in friendship

How I Lost My Best Friend to an Abusive Boyfriend

What Happened to My Best Friend?

We met our sophomore year of high school. Ever since that day, we had been inseparable. We did everything together. You’d either be at my house or I’d be at yours. Anytime I needed you, you were there. I was always there for you too. A few years later, you met a guy. He seemed nice at first, and I even tried being friends with him just to make you happy. I really tried my best. The first indicator that something just wasn’t right with this guy is when you told me that he tells you what to do. I didn’t like that someone was trying to control my best friend. I also didn’t like that you were so willing to follow his demands. I thought maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal. Then you told me you caught him flirting with other girls. When you confronted him about it, he just blamed you and said you weren’t good enough so he had to do it. You came to me sobbing because you didn’t know what you had done wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong...

After a few months of you and him arguing every day, you decide to move in together because you think that will fix everything. It doesn’t. It made it so much worse. You and him started to fight every day. Every day you would call me crying because he had always put you down and made you feel worthless. He made you feel like you could never find anyone better than him.

After a few months of living together, you talked to him about wanting to get married. He constantly told you no. You still persisted, even though he had made it clear that he never wanted to marry you. About a month later, he proposed to you while sitting on the couch across the room from you. He didn’t get on one knee. Didn’t even come by you. Just asked you from the couch casually. You said yes. You were so excited and started planning the wedding the next day. I helped you, even though I was against it. That’s what best friends do. Months go by, and your wedding date was approaching. You had spent thousands of dollars of your own money to buy a dress and buy everything you needed for the wedding. You were so excited to spend the rest of your life with the man that you loved. Two weeks before the wedding, he called it off. You were heart broken, but I knew that he was never going to marry you. I tried to tell you, but you never listened. You stayed with him anyways. You said you would just push the wedding back and wait until he was ready. A few weeks later, his best friend had lost her engagement ring. He offered her yours so that she would have something to wear. He didn’t even ask you, he just took it off of your finger and gave it to her. I saw how much that hurt you, and it hurt me to see you like that. You still stayed with him though.

Months go by, and you start to tell me that you’re always scared of him. You always have to tell him where you are going, and if he doesn’t like it you have to come home right away. One time I heard him tell you that dinner had better be ready when he gets home, and you had to rush back home while we were at the mall to go make him dinner. I remember one night you called me and told me that you locked yourself in your room because he was yelling and you and you were scared. I came down there at one o’clock in the morning just to make sure you were okay and to calm him down. When I arrived that night, he started cussing and throwing things and yelling. I put my own safety at risk just to make sure you’d be okay. I started noticing huge bruises on you, and you told me you didn’t know where they came from. You started to have really bad anxiety around him, to the point you would hyperventilate and stop breathing. Then you started to have seizures. I remember when it got so bad, you had to stay in the hospital for a week in the seizure ward. They monitored you closely. They said it was stress related. I was there for you every day. He came to visit you once, and the day he came to visit you had a seizure. You hadn’t had one the whole time you were there until that day. I don’t think that was a coincidence. After all of that piled up, amongst so much more, I knew I had to do something.

A few weeks later, I made both of you sit down and talk with me. I had a lot to say to him. I told him that he didn’t treat you right and I didn’t like it one bit. I told you that you needed to leave him, because he was making your life so horrible. I told you that if you didn’t leave him, it’s going to kill you eventually. You agreed with me but said you just couldn’t leave him. I gave you an ultimatum and told you that if you’re going to be with him, we just couldn’t be friends because I can’t sit around and watch you get hurt. You chose him...

I’ve felt bad to this day for leaving you, but I didn’t know what else to do. I never wanted to leave. I just wanted you to be safe. I still don’t know if I made a wise decision or not. I should’ve stayed by your side no matter what. I knew what it was like to be in an abusive relationship, so why did I judge you for being stuck in one too? I want my best friend back, but she’s gone forever.

What happened to my best friend?

Natalia Crenshaw
Natalia Crenshaw
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