What Do You Need to Know About the Young Man Who Starts His Life on His Own?

The flight of the child's nest - now a young man eager to start life on his own - is a step both awaited and feared by his parents. On the one hand, you are so proud and happy for your child, who has become an independent young person. On the other hand, the mere thought that he will no longer be in the house, that you will see him so rarely, gives birth to bitterness and a feeling of emptiness…

Whenever it happens, a parent is never fully prepared for the child's flight from the nest, he is not ready for the end of such a major stage - the end of family life together. Sometimes, it happens early, when the child goes to a high school in another locality, more often, when he starts university studies in another locality. At other times, the flight from the nest is postponed until after school. of parent.

Psychologists talk about "empty nest syndrome" - when the young person leaves the parental home, this change gives rise to a multitude of emotions that are difficult to manage for both parents or, most often, for the mother, who was closest to the child.

When faced with feelings of emptiness and sadness, it is important to think that this change is positive in your life. But do not ignore what you feel - allow yourself to mourn the departure of the child while trying to accept this departure and create a new program of activities that you did not have time before.

The parent and the child's flight from the nest:

Think of the flight from the nest as proof that you were good parents - the role of the parent is to raise a child who becomes a young man ready to face life on his own, ready and willing to face challenges and achieve success.

An independent young man, who adapts to new situations, who manages on his own, and who has his own goals in life. When the young man is ready to leave the nest, it means that you have successfully fulfilled your duty as a parent! You were a good parent - and you will always be his parent, even if he is no longer in your parents' house.

Support the young man when this big step in his life comes. If he is in your power, help him materially - the parent will always be a support for his child, regardless of his age. But important support is also the emotional one: encourage the young person when he is preparing to start his life on his own, tell him that you will always be with him, and get involved in his concrete plans (choosing the house, choosing the furniture and other aspects practice).

Sometimes, the young person is also afraid of this big step, he wonders if he will manage if he will be able - so some encouragement and advice are valuable. And tell him that he will always be welcomed home with love, that this will always be his home, to lessen his anxiety (the young man may think that if he leaves home, he will not be able to return).

What is important is how you perceive the child's flight from the nest: as an end or as a beginning? Try to think that it is a beginning: both for the young person and you. Only now does the young man learn what independent living means, living on his own - and when he takes this step, he will become more confident, confident, and responsible. It is the beginning of his adult life, of his achievements.

And for parents… for you, it is a new beginning of your life as life partners and as people with certain passions. You have devoted so much time and concentration to raising your child, that you have certainly forgotten to improve your relationship and you have forgotten your interests, passions, goals. Take advantage now: strengthen your relationship as life partners; take advantage of your free time not to sigh after the days when the house was animated by the happy child, but to rediscover the long-forgotten interests…

The flight from the child's nest is a positive change for him and the parents, it is a beginning and not an end. Remember that you will always be his mother or father and that leaving home does not mean the end of your relationship.

But the child's flight from the nest is sometimes delayed… The young person stays in his parents' house during and after university studies. The reality today is that young people stay at home with their parents because of material difficulties: finding a job in the labor market with a salary that allows them to live independently is often extremely difficult.

But there is another aspect to mention: many young people do not want to leave the nest, being too comfortable at home, where someone else does chores; many also refuse to work: yes, it is difficult to get a good job, but it makes sense that you have to start somewhere; and finding a modest job is not so difficult (only young people think that they deserve more, that they would "humble themselves" - since when does the desire to work humiliate?).

In this situation, the parents may find that the young man is approaching 30 years old, has completed his studies, and does not plan in any way to start a life on his own. Sometimes, as mentioned, it is very difficult and there are no financial possibilities.

But even so, as a parent, you must stimulate and encourage his independence. First, ask the young student to find a part-time job (if he or she does not receive a college scholarship); if he has finished his studies and lives at home, ask him to find a job - whatever he finds, explaining to him that it is necessary to try and go through many experiences, to get where you want. Accepting a job that is not suitable for your studies and that is not paid as you would like is not a humiliation: it is a beginning.

As long as a young person stays in the parental home, the parents should ask him to contribute to some expenses and take care of his own needs: in no case do you serve him a tasty meal every day, do not pack his things, no wash her clothes: she will get used to this comfortable life and it will be extremely difficult for her to start on the path of an independent life…

Yes, it is your child regardless of age - but don't forget that a parent must encourage independence and responsibility, to push from behind when needed!