What color is purple?

No one has ever asked me why The Color Purple is my favorite movie, so I honestly never thought to think about why.

Ms. Celie had a story to tell, not that anyone would listen. All throughout the movie, the only person that she spoke to was God. She went through so much heartbreak and heartache; she cried countless tears and moaned and groaned to herself more times than I could count. The one time where she did find the nerve to speak up; not even for herself but to advocate for someone else who was in pain, a display of altruism; she quickly learned never to do so again. She was talked about, abused, shamed, lied on, cast out, used, mistreated, and left out to dry. Everything that could have or would ever mean something to her was taken away, time and time again. She spent the entire movie in a constant state of grief, with no real way to do so; just expected to pick up and keep going. Taking a backseat to her kid sister, who most saw as prettier and preferred to be associated with. She possessed an arrogant level of strength which people immediately sought to beat out of her by any means necessary in order to keep that strength and selfishly harness something that they could never attain; always wished but never could be. She longed for someone to notice her, longed for somewhere to be; maybe call home. She desperately needed to be noticed for much more than what everyone else thought to see her worth. Her opinion was asked, then ignored, her useful advice laughed at and turned away from leaving her to clean up the mess and rebuild from scratch what had been ruined. She spent most of her time alone, yet constantly taking care of everyone else. She was unnoticed, yet at every single beck and call, her advice was seeked, yet untaken and opposites chosen, she was misunderstood, yet her forced position was that of which, someone born deaf, dumb, and blind could easily perceive.

Ironically, it took for me to ask myself why The Color Purple is my favorite movie; it has been since I was ten years old. Funny, you ask most ten year old girls what their favorite movie is and I can think of a billion things not even in the realm of astonishment as what Whoopi Goldberg portrayed on the big screen. But even then, in my first full decade of life, my Cinderella story looked, felt, and lived more like Ms. Celie’s.

When I tell people that I’ve never seen most Disney classics such as The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, ect. I get these funny scrunched up faces followed by, “what kind of childhood did you have?” or “your childhood must’ve sucked.” Most times I just snarl and answer “some of us didn’t get the chance to have a childhood”, most times fallen on deaf ears of misinterpretation. I’m glad that I thought to ask myself why this is and has always been my favorite movie. It makes all the sense in the world now that I’ve dug this out of my subconscious; I had no idea, not even when I began writing this.

It's comforting to see my wounds turn into wisdom. I cannot imagine coming to earth to just hang out. I’d have to die in order to get back out. Who would wanna just hang around this place; even with a plethora of things to get into, other than the misery of other people’s business; who coerce you into being the invitee, in an effort to evade the ownership of labeling such a dynamic as “company” - which misery is perpetually trauma bonded with.