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Wanted: A Man

Read Below for Qualifications

By Kristi FlowersPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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Wanted: A Man
Photo by Milan Popovic on Unsplash

Cuddling would be nice, not only after sex, but anytime I feel like the world hates me, having a bad day, or just because. Don't squeeze too hard because I still want to breathe, and I don't want to feel like I am suffocating.

Dinner needs to be planned for me every day. The smell of food cooking when I open the door coming home from a long day at work would be wonderful. Also, cleaning up the kitchen immediately after eating would be an added plus.

Cleaning the litter box immediately after the cat uses it is necessary. Actually, it would be nice to just follow the cat around the house to catch him in the box to scoop as appropriate. This also includes sweeping up any excess litter that is scattered around.

When it come to the dog, taking him out in the middle of the night when he needs to go is essential. I cannot be interrupted when I sleep and need my full eight hours of beauty sleep every night.

Fixing everything in the house when it breaks goes without saying. Items need to be fixed the same day that they are discovered as not working. It is unacceptable to not have things fixed within the same day.

Sports are not allowed to be watched on TV, unless of course I want to watch them. I am in charge of the TV at all times. However, the remote needs to be on the table at all times, in my view ready for when I want to change the channel.

My car is also to be maintained on a regular schedule. Delays on maintenance will not be tolerated. If by any chance my car does break down or need a tire or any other situation arises, I expect everything, and anything will be dropped immediately, and all needed attention will be given to me.

There will be no tolerance for snide remarks or comments about the budget or credit card expenses incurred for clothing, makeup, or anything else that I deem necessary. All said items should be encouraged and no expense spared.

The toilet seat shall be left in the down position for perpetuity and when the roll of toilet paper is used, the empty roll is to be thrown in the trash, and a new roll is to be placed in the holder. No exceptions.

Gifts are expected for every birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day and any other holiday deemed as appropriate. Gifts must include something tangible and must have some kind of intrinsic value. Flowers are only accepted if accompanied by another gift with value. Cards must accompany every gift and be appropriate to the occasion. Actually, most of your disposable income needs to be spent on my wants regardless of whether your bills need to be paid.

Outside yard work or any other outside chores must be done solo with no complaining that you get no help. Taking trash cans to the curb must also be done on appropriate days. This also applies to returning the trash can to proper area after trash has been collected.

Strict enforcement of bed etiquette will be required if relationship gets to that level. No stealing of blankets or pillows, and you must stay on your side of the bed unless invited over by me for other activities or cuddling (see above).

Now, if you feel like this is the perfect partnership for you, please run away. There are plenty of women who will value your time, money and just your being there in a relationship without using you. All you have to do is open your eyes and not be blinded by a faux exterior. Good women are out there waiting to be wanted, waiting to be respected, and willing to respect others. We are out there, we are ready to love, we are ready to be loved.

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  • Amanda Nicole2 years ago

    I absolutely love this! I hope you find someone that can not fill all of your qualifications! ❤️

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