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Villains of Christmas

How to Ruin a Good Family Party And Other Holiday Confessions

By SirenSavagePublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Its 11:20PM and I'm the Grinch who ruins Christmas. Apparently because its a holiday I'm supposed to let our daughter have as much candy as she can eat. I said no. What I said didn't matter it seems. Why? Because its fucking Christmas. I want to pretend that it doesn't hurt my feelings when I get called the fun sucker...but truthfully I'm not actually that good at lying. Especially about my feelings. For someone who is to scared to fully open herself up enough to write that awesome story I know is lurking inside, I'm sure good at being an open book through my face and sulky actions.

I know that everyone is aware that holidays usually mean family strife one way or another. What I DONT know is why we all try our hardest to pretend like were surprised when our feels get stomped on by someone we love in what is supposed to be the Merriest month of the year. Commercials show happy laughing families of all shapes and sizes. Neighbors walk by with arms full of party groceries and smile like someone isn't going to break their favorite lamp that night. We invite each other to get-togethers thinking what a fantastic night its going to be for everyone if we can just finish all the snack trays in time.

I hate going out, being social, and just all around putting myself in situations where I just know I'm going to make an ass of myself or end up upset. Call me uptight. And maybe I am uptight. Family get togethers do not excite me. I dread them. Each and every one of them. My own family really has nothing to do with me and quite frankly the feeling is mutual. So I'm pretty safe on that end. But I'm engaged to a man with a family even bigger than mine and I am far from safe in that respect. We have been together for about 3.5 years now I think but are not yet married. I play role of wife and stepmom, but really they all know that nothing is official. Therefore when something is said at a family event that ruffles my feathers...I get to say nothing. I get to wish Id chugged some liquor before leaving the house and quietly simmer in whatever corner seems the least conspicuous. At least when it was MY family I was forced to be around I didn't have to feel weird telling someone to bugger off. Its actually a thing my family is really good at. We all know how to tell each other, guilt free, to fuck off. And yes, we even get to use curse words without it being a big to-do.

So needless to say I didn't take tonight's family holiday outing terribly well. I've handled things worse. But it definitely wasn't a shining moment and a few terse words were exchanged once in the privacy of our own home. They are both fast asleep. One is probably dreaming of dancing sugar plum fairies from her excessive sugar high. And the other could be dreaming of a life where his woman doesn't seem like an uptight fun-sucking bitch for every stinking holiday. I am left to drink my beer. Ponder my thoughts. And as always...worry about laundry and bills. This is what I do. I drink. I worry. And I force responsibilities on poor unsuspecting Cratchit families like my own. Who know you could be Grinch, Scrooge, AND the Wicked Stepmother all in one?

I just hope the spirits know for next year, that I'm kind of a drag to go on trips with and they are probably just better off all showing up at once to tell me to stop being such a scrooge. As long as they stay out of my bedroom I may actually listen. But I have a very strict no-ghost policy for my room.

Ah yes...Christmas is finally over. Its four minutes past and I'm truly relieved. I could say that perhaps Ill just finish my beer now and go crawl in next to my boo who DID kiss me goodnight. But I'm far from saintly and I'm really still in no mood to be that good of a person. I'm usually all about the insights and proverbs, telling people its worth the effort to keep fighting to be a good person. But sometimes even I get tired and just want some time to think, drink, and binge a good tv series.

Cheers to everyone out there having just as Merry of a Christmas as me. May the new year bring us all new problems...and the chemistry set to solve them. Salude.

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