Unwanted (Chapter 4)

I finished putting my groceries away. I had the perfect song in mind to sing tonight. It was entitled "Sustaining." It was a dance song that I wrote when AJ kicked me to the curb like a raggedy soccer ball. This song is a message to haters and past love affairs that no matter what they did to me, I'm still going to make it.

Although I knew that I would make it to the top and overcome the heartache of this last breakup, I hated going through the heartbreak. It was as if I had been kicked in the gut simply because I didn't measure up to an unrealistic standard of beauty.

I quickly showered and vocalized to warm my self up. I had picked out a nice sequin, burgundy, bodycon dress that I had ordered from Tanille's boutique. I needed something that would accentuate my curves and compliment my figure. I knew that this dress would do just that.

I picked out silver jewelry and my burgundy clutch that matched my dress. I picked out my metallic silver pumps that went well with my dress, not to mention my Christmas-themed manicure. I grabbed my black mink coat out of the closet.

As I envisioned the stage at Jojo's Steakhouse and Jazz Lounge, I began to apply my makeup. With each layer of paint, I sang and rehearsed the words to the song. Since Jojo loved to hear me sing, I prepared a second ballad. I chose Patti Labelle's "Shoe Was on the Other Foot," to drive home the effect of karma. I often wondered what would've happened if I had dumped AJ because he didn't look the way that I wanted him too or because he didn't fit a certain status quo.

I did once glance over at myself in the mirror.

"Damn, Girl," I said to myself.

I was looking flawless and damn sexy. AJ wouldn't know what to do when I walked into Jojo's. This night wasn't about revenge, but it was about me moving on.

For the last two months, I had sat in my house and threw myself into my work. The crew even cursed me out for not wanting to go to the latest balls or drag shows. It was time for me to start back living and not let some slimeball put my life on hold.

30 minutes later I arrived at Jojo's. I had hailed an Uber instead of driving. I didn't feel like being a diva who drove her self to the ball. I felt that tonight was my Cinderella moment. I had been kicked down, but this royal diva was bouncing back.

Even though the scene with Darshay and AJ shook me to my core, I refused to let it break me.

"Topaz, you are serving the girls," Sharla said as I sat at the front table near the stage.

"That dress is making a statement," Denzel said with glee.

"Yes, Ma'am," Tanille yelled.

"Thanks, fam. I just threw a little something together."

I smiled and just took a survey of the room.

"Y'all, I am so ready to show this crowd my vocal skills tonight," I said as I perused the menu for an edgy drink. It was customary for me to take a sip before singing. It helped me relax.

"You are going to kill it tonight," a voice beside me said.

I looked up and AJ was standing beside me.

I gave him a cordial smile that said: "You have no idea."

"Thanks, AJ," I said nicely.

I was shocked that he was even speaking to me. I wanted to tell him to go find Darshay and to screw off but remained polite.

"Why is he over here," I heard Denzel mumble under his breath.

I kicked him under the table as to not cause a scene.

"It's good to see you. Have a great night and enjoy the show," I said rushing AJ off.

As he walked away Sharla sipped her drink and growled: "He has some nerve."

"Girl, it ain't nothing but guilt and the fact that the grass isn't always greener."

"You got that right!" I said.

Darshay interrupted my next sentence as her voice boomed over the room.

"Happy Holidays, Everyone! It's me, your hostess, Madame D. We have an awesome list of talent tonight that is going to rock the house tonight."

I smiled as the crowd cheered. I patted my freshly styled curls and prepared for the many acts to come before me.

"Topaz, are you ready girl," Sharla asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I responded with confidence.

After ten performers, it was finally my turn.

"Topaz, you better sing your face off," Darshay said as I approached the stage.

"Thanks, Darshay. I'm going to do my best."