Twin Flame or Trauma Bonded?
No wonder why I found Twin Flame stories while I was searching for narcissistic abuse! And yes sadly the doubts I originally had about TF's were correct. The so-called "love of my life" turned out to be a complete narcissist all along...
I feel dumb. Not for writing this because I’m all about honesty and growth, or about the other article I couldn’t be more wrong about. But for believing someone like that can be a better person with no visible growth. If I ever felt as if I’ve spread things that I’ve figured out later couldn’t be further from the truth, I will correct myself. I’m still learning, I hope to continue to learn things often until the day I die, but I just wish my wisdom and lessons came from less hurtful or negative things. I do know now for me to heal from all the narcissistic abuse and trauma bond I still had in my life I had to have this happen- to remember this for the future, stop the cycle and, realize I can't help or save everyone especially someone as broken and evil as a narcissist.
In the first or second paragraph of my story vocal.media/humans/my-tumultuous-twin-flame-soul-connection, I mentioned finding information on the philosophy of “Twin-Flames” while doing extensive research on Narcissists and now I see exactly why. They are the same thing! I became aware I kept attracting the same kind of man and falling for them hard. I was the common denominator so I did my research and last summer pretty much earned a PH-D in Narcissistic Personality Disorder but as they say, even the teacher can be taught something new.
The cycles of “Twin Flames” to the chaser and runner aspect and even the sense that they may end up with someone else does not seem like what true love or any kind of love is. The runner is being opportunistic with his chaser when he runs out of options or lost which Narcissists also do. Then when they are feeling the effects of the love and self-confidence they felt from their chaser/empath gave them, their ego is telling them there’s something better and they get are over them quickly. The effects will start to wane and of course, they will blame the victim and find any little fault in them to cheat, leave or run. They can never be fulfilled emotionally, mentally, or physically. I call them empty shells because that’s what they basically are. So they are always searching for some else, new or in their minds better that will change their miserable lives.
As I saw with my situation I ASSumed was a “Twin Flame Soul Connection”, he straight up lied to me about his intentions with him, us, and the future to use me to get back at his ex and thinking he was going to have me hooked, line, and sinker. But thankfully after this year of finding myself, my blinders came off quickly and I was like holy s&%t why the hell didn’t I realize he was a narcissist when I learned all about what they were and their patterns. I even called him a narcissist before but the love or trauma bond I had for him felt he just needed more love and I am the person that can give him all the love and support he never received rather than doing that for myself, but that’s a whole another story.
I may anger some spiritualists by saying that “Twin Flames” is just a dolled-up story of the relationship between a narcissist and their victims but I won’t spell everything out for you. Do a little research yourself and tell me the similarities aren’t there. Now, remember spiritualism is a very old practice so the word or definition of a narcissist was not known. I have noticed some spiritualists try to find a positive backstory or lesson in everything but I was Wiccan that studied and practiced many different occult sects and I can absolutely assure you there are evil and just pure negative people and entities out there in the universe. The only positive I see about being a victim to one is hopefully surviving the narcissist, then the recovery and HOPEFULLY learning all you need to know how to recognize another one that comes your way in the future which studies show is not common to happen. #StayWeird