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Trust Issues

when mine started

By Zena WalkerPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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Trust Issues
Photo by Tammy Gann on Unsplash

I had a boyfriend once. Here he will be called X. This was a guy who wanted me when I wanted nobody. He asked me out on a date. I declined as I had done with everyone else at that time. He was so offended by it; I didn't know why. I didn't even know him. He was smoking with his friends one day and his one friend's older brother, who happened to my coworker and friend. We will call my coworker friend K-dawg. I walked into work the day after the rejection K-dawg said he had to tell me something important. He nervously explained to me that X joked that my pussy stank. I was infuriated. K-dawg convinced me to confront him. I think of that day and wonder how I could have been so gullible. He had convinced me he didn't say it. He told me, " If I asked you out, why would I say that?" I thought, "Okay, sounds legit." He moved, so I felt I didn't have to worry anymore. A year later, I went to my friends' house to roll-up some bud, and there he was. Somehow after that day, he had won my heart. Maybe I was desperate and lonely; I don't quite remember. I spent most of that summer stoned off my ass. Fast forward a year and a half into our "happy" relationship. For some reason, our 'how we met' story had come up. I am such an understanding person that if he would've admitted to me in the beginning that he had said those rumors, I would have tried to see the benefit of the doubt. He slipped up though, X decided to say out loud in front of my friends and I, that he was talking mad shit about me because he was jealous and furious that I had rejected him. For two years in a new high school, I was the new girl known for my apparently rancid vagina. After this betrayal, I had no idea if I could actually trust the guy. I thought I had loved him. Fast forward six months later. I had been fighting this feeling of betrayal for so long. My resentment just grew and grew.

Now that we have the introduction of X out of the way, we can move on to the deal-breaker. I was cooking this fool dinner for the 730th day in a row, minding my business. He decided it would be a great idea to come up behind me, slap me with his dick, and run away in front of 3 of my closest friends. After that incident, I knew I couldn't be with the immature, lying, and unhelpful man anymore. I saw him as nothing but a boy after that moment. I had worked until 4 am that night to avoid him. I got home and slept in the living room. X woke me up. I looked at him with exhaust and told him, " I can't do this anymore." I explained to him that he acts like a spoiled brat. I couldn't handle his daily complaints, his lack of effort, and his childish outbursts. X never even cooked for me for those two years.

Now for the worst part. Such a long time spent together had acquired us a car and an apartment. They were both in my name. I had got a new Nissan Sentra with him as a cosigner simply because he was older than me. He didn't even have a license and never made a single monthly payment of 360$. My plan was to get settled at my new job, get ahead on the vehicle payments, and remove his name once I had enough paystubs to prove I could singly own the car. My plans did not work since X was so selfish and impatient. He had been spam calling me and showing up unexpectedly demanding my vehicle. I had a special daily routine that consisted of sitting outside and smoking a doobie. I was enjoying a joint one morning when he, his mom, and dad appeared out of nowhere. His mother, a crackhead and ex-convict, runs up my steps, punches me in the face, puts me in a chokehold against my door, and starts demanding my car keys. I told her I wasn't giving them to her while I weighed out my options. Her back was facing the stairs leaving me defenseless. I would have hit her if I wasn't scared to get hit by her husband. I had curved, concrete stairs that would have killed her if I pushed her. I was motionless. I could not do a single thing. Three against one were my odds. She had me pinned against the door so hard that it had busted open. She and her husband pushed me inside and started looking for the keys. They went into my roommates and my bedroom sifting through our things. She came back and put me in another chokehold. My neighbors heard the screaming and told us to shut up. I don't think they realized what was going on. Then X decided to bless us with his presence. The X just watched, with not a single shred of remorse in his eyes. A person I loved for two years when all he did was complain and lie. They finally took my keys and drove away with my car. I have not seen them since. I still owe 26000$ for the car that got stolen from me, and the best part is that the X wrecked the car the day after he stole it. I felt the most betrayal this day from anyone I've ever known besides my four parents.

breakups
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