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Tragic Passion & Toxic Love: Part 1

Young Love and Friendship

By Audrey ElenaPublished 4 years ago 6 min read
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We met when I was 13 years old. He was 15. Our families lived in the same trailer park in the middle of the "hood", it could've been worse though. Moving on... He was so cute, and he was even funnier. Any guy who can have me bursting at the sides could have me head over heels if he wanted, I love to laugh, and Taylor was the funniest guy I'd ever met at that point. The first time he saw me, I was bending over doing some gardening in my favorite jean shorts. He told me later on in our journey that he liked my butt and even more my legs so he just HAD to know me. I first saw him when my friends from school who I walked home with introduced me to their family, their brother included, his name was Taylor. Now, keep in mind we were merely children who knew nothing about life, or love, or responsibility, or anything in between any of those things... okay? So, I immediately garnered a crush on Taylor and his sisters/my best friends, Jasmine and Shannon were (at the time) all for it! We all became a group and we were practically inseparable, Taylor, Jasmine, Shannon, Wisly (Taylor's best friend), Wadsen (one of our neighbors & mutual friends), Standly (just the fucking best dude & Wadsen's younger brother), and of course William (Taylor's cousin). We spent so much time together, sometimes all of us, sometimes a few of us in pairs, or triples, etc. I found myself spending more & more time with the guys than my original girl friends. To be fair, I've always gotten along better with guys over girls, so it wasn't completely due to my lust for Taylor. Both of us were so shy and I was so uncertain about my feelings for him that we never took it anywhere until one night in my backyard we were horsing around and flirting with each other where I then stole his wallet and told him I'd only give it back if he kissed me. That's where we first kissed and it was glorious; I won't lie... I was a fast teenage girl so I guided his hands towards my pants and let him explore but only briefly. I enjoyed toying with him like a child but I had enormous feelings for him too. However, as we spent more time together, beating around the bush and not letting anything real become of our feelings, and this all happening alongside our other friend Wadsen, whom also had a crush on me... I became confused like most young teens do about my feelings for Taylor... because I started noticing Wadsen more... long story short, I bounced from the two more than once & ended up hurting them both. However, it was obvious that I really cared about Taylor because I detested causing him even a drop of pain, whereas I didn't much feel guilt over anything that made Wadsen jealous or sad the same way I did for Taylor. Before I realized my feelings for Wadsen weren't real and that my feelings for Taylor were absolutely authentic... I made the mistake of sleeping with Wadsen during one of our many co-ed sleepovers, where Taylor & Wisly were sleeping in the living room and I slept in Wadsen's bed. Taylor's heart broke that night because he knew and that is one night I would without a doubt take back if I could. He eventually told me later on in life that he wouldn't change the way things went down because then what happened next wouldn't have happened and he'd be forever proud of it. You see they were very close friends, but they were also serious rivals as well. Especially when it came to me. So fast forward a few months, during another one of our co-ed nights... (Now I can't say I'm not proud of this because I am... but this will make me look pretty shitty when it comes to morale and the 'girl code'). All four of us, Wadsen, Wisly, Taylor, and I slept in the same room. Wisly in the second bed, Wadsen and I in his bed solely because I refused to sleep on the floor, even though Taylor was and I wanted nothing more than to be right next to him and I mean I yearned painfully for this guy. Taylor had this horrendous girlfriend at the time, Alyssa. Yet, he and I both wanted each other. So, after sharing a series of texts about our mutual desires and keeping things remotely platonic, I go lay next to him on the floor and as I stated, we initially intended to just keep things PG-13, maybe just a little kissing, no big deal. Well... that was a total failure. It didn't take long for us to start having sex, and for me to take his virginity (see 26 Facts For Fun). We continued our affair as he continued dating the girl he said he didn't even want to stay with, but did solely because she did all of his school work, even though he is literally so smart he would have done it better, but was just too lazy to do it himself. Not to mention, she also bought him his first cell phone and paid the bill on it so he refused to break up with her because I at that time also knew what a cell was worth enduring to maintain since my parents also refused to get me one until I threatened to put a certain villain on blast, for the 3rd time mind you... save that info for a later post, although he often told me it was due to fear of causing pain as well. Anyways, he eventually told her about our affair due to more intimate reasons and she forgave him, so already long story short, she ended up giving him a second chance despite him losing his virginity to another girl, but at the cost of ending our "situationship". That broke my heart because I wanted him to just break up with the girl he told me too often and with real emotion that he didn't even remotely like, and be with the girl who was falling madly in love at a rapid rate, a girl he claimed he felt the same for. But he stayed with her. So that was the end of 'Taylor and Audrey'. A few months pass by, and I maintain my friendships with his sisters, and my brother was best friends with his youngest sister too. Our families were practically one. At least that's how my family and I saw it. His family decided to move out of the city we lived in, to a city only 15 minutes North of where we met. He came by my house to say goodbye but I was sleeping at my new boyfriend Andrew's house. So I never got to say goodbye to the guy I fell SO deeply for. I mean I believe we both felt that endless bond, that connection we had together, I know he did, I know I did. Because when I continue this very long story in Part Two, you'll come to understand why I say that "connection", that "bond", was an inevitable, endless one.

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