To the Mom Who Didn't Bounce Back

To the Mom who didn’t bounce back...

To the mom who rolls her eyes, when she hears people mention the baby weight “melting away”...

To the mom who envies her friend who only gained 20lbs during pregnancy, while you gained 60…

As you stare at your new, larger, softer body in the mirror, in disbelief, crying a little inside (or outside)…it’s okay. The pressure is there, and you feel it. The pressure to love your body just how it is; to accept and be proud of your new form. While this thought comes from a good place, if you feel less than thrilled, it’s okay. It’s okay to mourn your pre-baby body. Lord knows, new moms don’t need one more thing to feel a false sense of guilt about. Forcing yourself to try to feel love towards a body you don’t even recognize, and then feeling guilty because you can’t, is a discouraging cycle.

Yes, your body is strong and capable.

Yes, it just accomplished something incredible.

Yes, you should give yourself time and grace, to nourish and restore it.

In the meantime, it's alright if you don’t look in the mirror and beam with pride. It’s okay if you wish you didn’t have to fight your jeans every morning to get over your hips. You should not feel guilty for having these completely normal feelings. It doesn’t mean you aren’t appreciative of your body. You can be simultaneously proud of what your body has accomplished, carrying another life and bringing it into this world, while still recognizing that the extra weight hanging around feels uncomfortable.

Your body has changed forever. Can you get back into shape with hard work and discipline? Absolutely. Will your body be the same as it was before? No, probably not. It will be adorned in stretch marks and loose skin, even if the weight is gone. While you shouldn’t be ashamed of this, it’s okay if you don’t look at these areas and marvel at their beauty! The feelings that you have towards your body and appearance are legitimate. It’s healthy to acknowledge them, and not force yourself to feel otherwise.

Th e truth is: as a new mom, you have better things to do than obsess over your body, whether out of appreciation or mourning. No matter what your feelings about your postpartum body are, I hope that when you look at those bright eyes staring up at you and you feel those tiny fingers clenched tightly around yours, you feel, “it’s worth it”. Your body may have changed, but your life has forever changed as well, for the better!