To The Guy I Thought Would Always Be There

by Emily Burkard 2 years ago in breakups

I've never been good at saying things in person, but I've always been good at writing stories, so here is my story.

To The Guy I Thought Would Always Be There

Have you ever met someone that you only saw when you walked into a room? A connection so real and pure you thought to yourself, how is this even possible? January 8 was that day for me. January 8 was the day I met the guy that change me forever as a person.

Dear Mr. Silent,

You are the guy that affected me like no other. The one that showed me happiness in a cruel world. You were the guy that taught me to step out of my comfort zone. The one that made me appreciate what fun dating someone could be. I'll be honest with you, any time I go to certain places they are triggers of our old memories. Sometimes I wonder, do those places trigger the thought of me to you? It's hard to move on with my life like you never existed. I want to still tell you everything. The things I never got to say and future events that will happen. Everything I do always comes back to you. To be honest, I have a funny feeling I wasn't the only one. It was always very weird how protective you were of your phone or even taking pictures with me. Deep down I don't want to think that way of you but, I do think that way of the military ex that ghosted me after being together for a while. I look back at our old pictures I took of us, but we both changed. We're both not the same two people that took that photo. We were lost in the moment and the memory is forever frozen in that photograph. Deep down I feel like I might have been different to you. From the way you laugh to the way you would tell me how much work made you upset. I can't help to think I was different especially since you made jokes about me washing your clothes in a future apartment we could share together. We talked briefly one time about me transferring to a college that would be closer to your job when you would have to transfer bases. We joked about having a dog together and all the summer memories that we would make this year. You use to send me Snapchats of things that reminded you of me and simple stuff you knew would make me laugh or smile. Sadly, though, that's not how things are now. I have taken in the fact that you're gone and I can accept that, but a part of me will always miss the connection we once shared. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being the guy I could laugh with, cry to, kiss in your pickup truck. Being that guy I could cuddle into on a stormy night as we slept together. Thank you for being that guy that could have inside jokes with me, always kept it real, wanted the best for me and enjoyed the small things like shopping at the grocery store together. Also for texting me while you were away to tell me you missed me. You would let me know when you were OK and when you were stressed with your job. I honestly believed you when you told me you wouldn't want anyone else. I guess I was easy to walk away from, since you act like I don't exist now, but regardless of this I finally I want to say thank you. Just thank you for being my best friend but, there is one more thing I have to say that I have come to realize after you left... four simple words that have a huge impact when put together.

I fell for you.

Thank you for all the memories... I'll never forget you.


Just another port girl

Emily Burkard
Emily Burkard
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Emily Burkard

I've been in love with writing stories since I've been five years old. It's just something I have always enjoyed doing.

See all posts by Emily Burkard