To My Best Friend, for Her Heartbreak
To help you keep going.
Three and half years. For three and a half years I watched you fall in love, and make commitments, and talk about a future that had him in it. I never expected to watch him break your heart.
I wish I could tell you that you two were bad together, it would make this so much easier, but it would also be a lie. The love you both had was real and beautiful and was something I wish I had for a long time.
But then, that thing that was so real and beautiful started showing cracks. Cracks that could have been fixed had he just held on. Unfortunately, when your love stopped being perfect, he broke open those cracks even more and left your heart in pieces. And he did it all in a text message.
Three and a half years.
In a text message.
It wasn’t fair. It never will be.
I know what you want. You want him to want you again, to miss you. You want him back. You want him back so bad it hurts, and that’s more than he deserves.
The truth is he deserves to feel like shit, to feel pain, to wake up everyday with the guilt of leaving you the way he did. He deserves to regret not fighting for you when you were willing to fight for him. He deserves to wake up one day and realize he made a huge mistake. What he doesn’t deserve is you.
YOU deserve more. You deserved a conversation and a chance to say your peace. You deserve to be appreciated by someone and loved whole-heartedly. You deserve to do whatever you need to do to get through this. You deserve to find happiness in other things and other people. You deserve to move on, with your head held high.
You don’t need him, and you never did.
I know right now you’re second-guessing everything, and you probably feel like a fool. Don’t. Don’t you dare put this on you, don’t regret falling for him, don’t think of all things you think you should have said. Don’t continue to break your own heart after all the damage he’s already caused, because everything you’re already feeling is enough.
So, go ahead and feel. Let the pain in. Cry, scream, listen to break-up songs, eat ice cream, and let it all out. Because the thing is, it’s going to hurt, it’s going to hurt like hell. And then, one day, it’ll hurt a little less, and the pain will keep minimizing with each passing day until eventually it doesn’t hurt anymore. Soon you’ll reach a point where you won’t think about him at all. And I promise you when that day comes, you’ll realize the only person you need to love, is yourself.
He told you when he left you that you are amazing. He got one thing right, because you ARE, and there are so many people who appreciate that about you already. When you’re ready, you’ll see this about yourself again, and even if you don’t, I’ll always be here to remind you.
I’ve heard that we fall in love three times in our life. Our first love happens when we’re young, our second love is the hard love that teaches you something. Our third love is the love we don’t see coming…the end game.
This was your hard love, this is the one that will hurt the most, but your third love is coming. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how, but it will find you and it will make all of this feel so far away. Keep holding on for your third love.
You had a real and beautiful love that broke your heart, don’t let it break you down.