To All the People I Haven't Replied To
A sincere apology for leaving people hanging.
I'm terrible at replying to texts. I really am. Most people who know me know not to expect a swift reply. Some of my friends even have a running joke going that I'll get back to them in three to five business days. This does not mean I don't care, don't love the person who sent the message, or that I'm mad at them.
I'm a borderline introvert. I don't have a bottomless pool of social energy. If the pool is empty, the text won't be replied to straight away. Or even on the same day. I know that for a lot of people replying to a message doesn't require any effort at all. For me, it does, and I'm sorry that I sometimes take long to reply. But what's an apology without a bunch of silly excuses? Allow me to elaborate:
Sometimes, if the message is a question or someone needing my opinion on something, I need time to think about what to reply. I'm not one of those people who instantly know what to say to everything. Sometimes I need a few hours or maybe even a night's sleep to brew an adequate answer to the information people have entrusted me with. Humans are emotional beings, and your words can seriously affect them and change the way they think. I'm quite a straightforward person, and I don't want to make mistakes and say something wrong. I'm not saying that I tip-toe around everything, worried I'll upset someone, I just sometimes need a little time to create my response, to make sure it's satisfactory.
I also want to wait 'til I can give the message the effort it deserves. If I'm in a rush, I probably won't reply until I can think about it properly. I'm also a person who barely looks at my phone if I'm in the company of others, as I find it impolite and distracting. I also don't text while walking (catching Pokémon is fine), so if I'm out and about you probably won't hear from me either. Guys, I'm just not very good at this.
Sometimes, the message disappears. I rarely scroll down on a message app, whether it's Messenger, Whatsapp or Instagram. The latter two I don't particularly like for conversations anyway, so response time for them can be up to a week. YES, I'm ashamed. I keep thinking all my active messages will be displayed on my screen at any point, so if a message ends up underneath the eight that can fit, I tend to forget it. If I don't see it, I might forget it's there, weirdly enough. That doesn't mean I don't care about it.
I'm a creative person. I have a lot of things going on in my head. I forget to reply. Sometimes, messages don't show up on my phone. I'll click on an app, forget to go to messages, scroll for a bit, then leave without replying. If I'm unlucky, this action cleared my notifications, and I won't be reminded to click on the app again to read the message. I'm too easily distracted to remember to go back. Also, I'll open Instagram to reply to someone, and boom, I see a cute picture of a doggo. My attention span can't handle that. No one shall be replied to when there's a cute doggo.
This is, of course, something I very much would like to improve. Any advice is greatly welcomed. Maybe I'm actually just living the wrong time, as I'd probably be much better at just sending letters than all this technology business.
So, to everyone who hasn't received the response you so deserve: I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I apologise.