To all the girls looking for love in the wrong place

How do you know if you’re looking for love in the wrong place? Sometimes, you feel like you’ve found the one- even by the first tinder swipe.

“He’s cute, he’s Jewish, he’s educated. Let’s get married!”

You match on Tinder and the conversation doesn’t even get passed the “which part of New York are you from?”

Or even better, you go out on a few dates, and then he tells you he’s not looking for anything serious.

I think most girls, even with the slight thought that you aren’t looking to get into a relationship, wants the guy to tell them that they aren’t just looking for a hookup.

Let me break it down.

When a guy tells you he’s just looking for a booty call, that’s what he will be thinking about from there on out. When he can put his P in your V.

On the other hand, when a guy tells you he’s looking for something a bit more serious, it gives you wiggle room to actually be able to have a conversation with a man who wants to get to know you for YOU.

My mom came up to me the other day and told me if I really wanted to be in a relationship, I can be. That many guys would want to be in a relationship with me. I see a lot of girls now getting into relationships for the sake of not being alone. Here is the thing, similarly to how the most recent Bachelor season ended (not including what Peter did to Hannah Ann), I am not able to commit myself to someone unless my heart is really in it.

It’s like, why don’t the guys that you like, like you back?

I don’t think the answer to this, is to settle. Settling for someone you aren’t head over heels for, will just end up completely screwing you in the end, in more ways than one.

I “dated” a guy for a whole year recently. When I say “dated”, I mean we were on and off seeing each other, doing some foreplay in my living room, and then fighting about the fact that he didn’t want to be my boyfriend. Now, I am hoping for the sake of the girl who is reading this, you did not waste a whole year on a guy that did not want to commit to you, but I am sure you know exactly who I am talking about. The same guy who gives you a spiel every time you bring up the relationship part; saying he isn’t emotionally ready because he has been hurt in the past. And...what do we ladies fall in love with? The want, the need, the desire, to be able to fix this broken man.

That same guy who broke my heart, is now dating the girl he told me not to worry about. The girl who he called his, “little sister”.

So, to wrap up that segment, I was trying to find love in a charity project that left me for a younger girl who probably won’t be able to give him half the love I was willing to give.

To be honest, even after getting hurt again and again, by guys who said they wouldn’t, I still tend to be hopeful.

Hopeful that potentially one of my tasteful thirst traps on Instagram will get a like by my future husband. Or the guy who liked the same movies as me that never called me back after a night out, will realize what he missed out on. Or even the guy who said I was too emotionally unstable for him, will realize I was the best he ever had.

At the end of the day, don’t be looking for love in the wrong places. Be who you are and find love within yourself. You ARE enough. I have to tell myself this time and time again. But just remember, you are loved, love yourself, and one day you will find the love you deserve.