Tips to Be in a Relationship with A Narcissist

I recently wrote an article about what it means to be a narcissist. If you haven't had a chance to read it, you can check it out right here.

Then, I elaborated, writing about why it is hard to be in a relationship with one. If you haven't had a chance to read it, you can check it out right here. 

That being said, if you find yourself in love with someone who has true narcissistic traits, it doesn't mean that you have to end it. There are plenty of healthy relationships between couples, even with narcissists. 

So, how can you do that? Here are some tips to help. 

Accept them for who they really are. You need to realize that beneath the overconfident self is someone who is scared to show anyone his or her true feelings and emotions.

Don't take it personally. Many narcissists will be overly critical of others, including the ones that they truly love. You can't believe everything that they say about you, or you will have no self-confidence in time. You also can't defend yourself, because the narcissist will just fight back. This will make it even worse.

Instead of simply reacting, take the time to think about their feelings before you respond. Most people react when someone says something hurtful or they want to argue. However, with a narcissist, you need to take a moment before you speak. Try to figure out what is going on in their head before you answer. 

You may want to say that you are sorry that they feel this way, but you didn't mean for it to be taken that way. If you forgot to call, it wasn't because they weren't important to you. It may have been that you got busy at work and didn't have time!

In fact, you should never confront them about their behavior. When you confront or criticize a narcissist, you are just asking for trouble. They will fight back and it can get ugly quick. They are going to stick with the fact that they are always right and it is their way or the highway!

Don't be afraid to set boundaries when it comes to their unrealistic expectations. You can't always give in to a narcissist, or you will find yourself dealing with these expectations for your entire relationship (which may be your whole life). 

Instead, you have to slowly allow them to see the real you (and the real world). They need to learn that their reality isn't real, and they can't get away with everything that they want.

It isn't easy to be in a relationship with a narcissist. You need to make sure that you are going to be able to handle it, without getting hurt. You are going to have to learn to take things less personally. 

To start, you really need to understand how your partner is feeling. Remember that underneath that self-confident person is someone who is petrified. So, whenever he or she gets mad, you are going to have to take a moment before you react. It also takes time for him or her to realize that the world isn't exactly how he or she pictured it!

Counseling may be a big help, if you decide to stick with the relationship. It may be hard to convince the narcissist to attend counseling, but the rewards are definitely worth it. If not, you should try to go by yourself. That way, you can learn how to deal with the one that you love. You may even need someone's help to get out of the situation if you need to.

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Previously published on Medium and/or Newsbreak.