Tic-Toc you are on the Clock

My Friends had started to pester me.

“Get out there and meet someone Sheeda”

I had heard this a thousand times to many since my husband had vanished into thin air 5 years ago.

I had wanted as many times to scream in their faces “I’M MARRIED” But I knew this was irrational. I knew that Gabriel wouldn’t be returning. I had no idea where he had gone, or what had happened to prevent his return to me.

The baffling reality of it all kept me sequestered, and not wanting contact with anyone.

We had been very very happy, I had thought.

These days, my best friend was my wine subscription to Bright Cellars. It was one of the things I looked forward to, what gorgeous burgundy, or liebfermilch would I receive this week.

Admittedly, I liked my glass of Merlot and my solitude more than most people. Luckily for me I had persistent friends, who at every opportunity berated me my withdrawal from them, from the world, from living.

Pouring a glass of this weeks Nihlist Wine Co Merlot, I heard a knock on the door.

I opened the door to a trio of my nearest and dearest, they had groceries and grins on their faces. Talia, Brionne, and Tristan, pushed their ways through the open door.

“We are going to cook dinner for you Sheeda, We have a surprise for you.”

Talia was the most extroverted of my friends, and had been the loudest about my retreat.

Rolling my eyes and bracing myself to be thoroughly spoken to about my confirmed hermit status.

Today was my 30th Birthday, and I had hoped to mope quietly alone, with my gardens, my paintings, and my glass of Merlot, but it was not to be.

I surrendered to their infectious smiles and decided to actually celebrate. It had been far to long since I had enjoyed myself, and I thought,

“I need to rock that boat.”

Tristan and Brionne were a couple, I had been friends with both of them since high school. Talia I had met in college and we had all become friends since completing our degrees.

“Aki is bringing his cousin for dinner, we are having a dinner party!” Talia announced bluntly, “his name is Noah, he is a boatbuilder, you are gonna LOVE him”.

A Boatbuilder? named Noah? What are the odds of that? What a funny synchronicity I thought...

I was slightly taken aback, as I didn’t think they would presume to ambush me with an actual man!

A good lecture, over a beautiful meal, great company, and great wine, I was only moderately prepared for.

“You DID NOT! I exclaimed

“You guys! I look terrible! I have not brushed my hair today!!

I was wearing a paint stained t-shirt and torn faded denims, date ready I was not.

“Don’t even stress, I have a makeover kit right here” Talia said, as she grabbed my hand.

Brionne grabbed the wine and poured me a fresh glass. “You guys go work your magic, Tristan and I are gonna whip up some mushroom wellingtons and rainbow chard salad”

Tristan and Brionne had both gone to culinary school, and were both Cordon Bleu chefs in very fine establishments, so this was going to be a gastronomically bliss inducing meal.

In my powder room now, I washed my face, took off my dirty clothes, and put on my favorite spring inspired kimono. Talia had her entire makeup kit, Hair straitener, hair products and perfumes of all kinds

Talia wasted no time, and with five minutes of attention, she had my dark chestnut hair brushed and shiny. She applied the tiniest hint of blush and mascara, and deemed me ready for clothes.

She chose my favorite raw silk blouse, it was hand dyed with traditional indigo. I had purchased it from an artisan in the Indus Valley. Having visited India, the year after Gabriel’s disappearance. For a moment I was back there. The raw emotion of loss and confusion that I had gone to India to tend to.

“That was four years ago Sheeda”

I reminded myself soothingly. Had I not grieved enough? Could I not take the prompt of these angels who loved me so much, to enter back into the light of life, of enjoyment, and of making my dreams come true?

A knock on the door drew me out of my contemplations.

Talia noticing my reverie, grabbed a simple hemp fabric a-symmetrical skirt, paired it with a woven hemp belt and announced her satisfaction with her selection. A pair of boho cork wedges to complete my look, she kissed my cheek.

“ Get dressed Sheeda, I am going to greet Aki and his cousin”

I stood up from my antique vanity, picked up my favorite bottle of amber and ylang ylang perfume oil, dabbing it on my wrists and behind my ears, I removed my kimono, and began to dress.

What was I feeling right now? It wasn’t sadness, it wasn’t fear, it wasn’t guilt.

Attaching the belt, and slipping on my shoes, I looked in the mirror.

I was happy....Well Sheeda, Love waits for no Women, it’s time to get back on that boat!

One more sip of the melty and raspberry hinted Merlot, a few deep cleansing breaths, I prepared to join the festivities that were awaiting me.

“Okay Sheeda, lets go meet Noah, the Boatbuilder”

I was ready to begin a path with a new ending. Life can be bittersweet, it takes courage to keep moving forward...what better way than on a sailboat?

Sarah St.Erth

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