This is who

I am…

I am sitting here right now watching Storm Ciara do her thing.

I am relieved to not be out running the Worthing Half Marathon today. I am a runner. I am not fast, and I am not capable of running massive distances. I am 45 years old and I am experiencing injuries as a consequence of my running. Still, I am a runner.

I am of the age where wrinkles have appeared. I am in the daily habit of applying moisturiser to my skin and I am more conscious now of the ingredients and the ethical standards of the company behind the product.

My first I am was: I am a girl. This was quickly followed by I am a daughter, I am a sister – first a younger one and then an older one. As I have moved through my life I have become many things. To some I am their friend, to others I am an adversary. I experienced some trouble during my school years and I am that girl who was sometimes picked on, I am someone who has been bullied. I am the holder of 2 GCSE’s, in Maths and English. I am proud to say I passed my driving test first time, at 18 years of age. I am sadden to say that all of my Grandparents had passed by the time I was 16.

I am someone who went straight from school into full-time work. I am lucky I worked at Chessington World of Adventures for 5 years (from the age of 16 to 21). After that I worked as a Traffic Warden first in Putney, South London and then in Esher, Surrey. I am someone who has many tales to tell about my early work experiences. I am 21 and I am new to my job. I am sitting in a pub in Wandsworth and I am introduced to my future husband. I am in love.

Two years after being married I am pregnant. I am so happy. My happiness does not last, as a few weeks later I am a statistic, I am someone who has suffered a miscarriage. The sadness moves away after a time and I am lucky, I am pregnant again – first with a boy, then 18 months later I have a girl followed 13 months after that with another boy. I am a MUM. I am not yet 30.

I am engrossed with life, busy with my children. I am doing what is expected of me, I may not be as happy as I am portraying myself to be, I am conforming. I am offered the opportunity to work with young children and this brings me back to life and I am passionate, so much so that I apply for my degree. I am 35 and I am accepted.

I am now 39 and in pain with a gall stone. I am fit, strong and healthy so find myself on the cancellation list for the operation. Weeks later I am someone who no longer has their gall bladder and I am recovering. I am sad once more during this time and I am lonely. 3 months later I am separated. I am a single parent.

Divorce proceedings begin 18 months later and I am fighting. I am someone who has been into court to fight for myself and I have been totally floored by the process. I am stronger as a consequence. I am a divorcee.

I am lucky, in fact I am beyond lucky. I have been introduced to people who have inspired and encouraged me. I am blessed. I am someone who has overcome 30 years of fear of Horses. I am an Equine Facilitated Therapeutic Coach as a result of looking into and accepting my fears and vulnerability. I am currently training to be a Metaphysical Counsellor. I am a Motivational Speaker.

I am not someone who like’s to have their picture taken and I am not someone who likes to be the centre of attention, I struggle with this and I working on it. I am many things and I am planning on be many more.

Who are you?