They'll Find Another, They Always Do

"Love doesn't die a natural death. Love has to be killed, either by neglect or narcissism" - Unknown

It'll start off as a kind, wholehearted love.

You might feel a connection, and it will feel like something you've seen in cheesy romance movies. He'll waltz into your life with that charismatic charm, some swagger. Some of them even show a rare kind of care, and what you think is genuine kindness. He moves in to sweep you off your feet in the grandest way he can manage, showering you with elaborate and expensive gifts and promises of love that will last a lifetime. He says just all the right things to chime your bells and turn your cranks.

How could you say no to someone who treats you so well?

"We're soulmates", he'll whisper into your ear in the silent hours of the night, hands entangled in your hair. The I love yous following not long after. You think it's too soon, but he insists that it's fine. That surely love like yours can overcome anything.

He'll tell you about how all of his exes are crazy, or how abusive they were. How he's the victim in all of these circumstances. His stories will pluck sorely on your heartstrings, bleeding at the thought of someone hurting him that way. He'll tell stories of cheaters, thugs, thieves - it'll break your heart. You caress his cheek, promising to never hurt him those ways and that you'll help him get through things.

Things begin to progress too fast for your liking, but it's fine - it's fine, right? He would never hurt you. Even though he already has. You let him move in. You let him drive your car. You share your life with him. He loves you, he'd never hurt you.

That's when you find the lipstick on his collar, the texts from "friends" that seem just a little too friendly, the condoms starting to deplete even though your sex life has been bordering on dead. He'll laugh your suspicions off.

"You're being dramatic.", He'll croon, "They're just friends. It breaks my heart to hear you think I set out to hurt you."

You end up believing him. You're not sure why, and you know something is off. But you end up believing him. You let him stay, despite everyone in your life and everything in your own mind telling you to toss him out. You end up having sex and promptly pass out.

A text from a male friend of yours sets him off a few days later. You fight for hours. He never found evidence of cheating like you did, but the attention of just a simple "Hey" was evidence enough. He forces you to block your male friends. When your female friends get wind of what's going on and stand up for you - he forces you to block them too.

Now you're isolated. He didn't like your family either.

Time passes. He starts helping with chores. He stops helping with the bills. You ask him to do his part, and he promises he will - but never does. You ask for the bare minimum of affection, and that's too much. You ask for a proper date - because videogames, movies and nights spent on the couch get old. He gets angry - because nothing he did was good enough.

But he comes around. He shows glimpses of who he was at the beginning of the relationship once again. You go out. He showers you with sweet nothings, gifts, the works. You feel seen and appreciated again - only to result in fighting or cold shoulders. Because he'd rather play on his phone than have anything to do with you - even at a fancy, five-star restaurant.

Over time, your self-confidence depletes. He'll make degrading remarks about your body, only to then build your confidence back up (usually before he asks for sex). You notice his flippant behaviour. Then you notice him starting to slip away, and when you try to communicate - you, for the most part, get ignored.

Isolated, and depreciated to a shell of who you once were - you begin to feel like a rabbit snared in a trap. Left to dangle for however long he chooses to keep you around, despite asking him to leave a few times too many. He will continually strip you of everything you are, piece by piece. You didn't notice it in the beginning. You don't understand why he's being this way - but you desperately crave for the person he was in the beginning. The nice, kind-hearted one who promised the world. Realization hits that it was all just an illusion.

You didn't notice how he's bled you dry this whole time.

Then the discard hits. Hard, fast - and painfully world obliterating.

The web of lies starts to untangle. Sure as shit, he's been fooling around with someone else. You always suspected, but you never had any concrete proof. He told you that. Yet, you doubt yourself and the validity of the relationship.

Shattered, left confused as to what the fuck happened. You look at the pieces of your heart that were once whole. He left without so much as a goodbye or a warning - not even caring that you were left bleeding out for all of the scavengers of the world to see. It won't be long until the sharks start trailing the blood in the water.

You close yourself off in hopes that nobody else will come along to rip you apart.