There are no trade-offs for women in the workplace.

Is it possible for a woman to have both a career and a family? I used to be a perfectionist, but now I prefer the rule of two or eight, where you do 80% of a job well and leave 20% short. I now appreciate and enjoy the process more, rather than just chasing results. The real way to balance is to know yourself, believe in yourself, define your goals in life, make choices, balance trade-offs and ultimately leave your precious time, energy, and good mindset for the people and things you care about.

A question I am often asked is: How do you manage to balance your career and family? Can a woman relate to balancing work and life?

Over the years I have come to realize that I can take control of my life, or at least move closer to a state of balance, as a daughter, wife, mother, professor, and executive ....... And the first step to finding balance and achieving harmony is to define your life goals. Over the years, I have worked out a "way to balance" in 3 areas: time management, energy allocation, and mindfulness. It all boils down to this: there is no balance, only trade-offs.

Time management trade-offs: learning to live with yourself

Learning to live with myself: When I was young, the world was exciting and I spent a lot of time playing around, making friends, and having sex ...... but I often felt a sense of emptiness and didn't know what I wanted. So when I was doing my Ph.D. in Boston in my 20s, there was a time when I deliberately kept to myself, reading, watching movies, listening to music, cooking, and cleaning ...... My friends were curious and I said, I need to learn to live with myself.

That time had a big impact on me. I became more at peace with myself, got to know myself better, and learned to be with myself. The only person who is your best friend in this life is yourself.

Learning to stay busy: When you enter the workplace, you often can't help yourself. A few years ago, I had a project that involved communication with a global team, and for months on end, I was always rushing through dinner, meeting until my family had drifted off to sleep, or even staying up all night, and then going to work on time the next morning. In the long run, my body couldn't take it anymore. When my children called me Auntie, I was determined to change this black-and-white routine.

Of course, this often came with a price. I've had a lot of conversations with different bosses about this and some are very understanding and will offer to help with the work-life balance from then on, while others won't, but I have my principles. This may have affected my impression and even my chances of promotion. But I get the physical and mental balance and time with my family and children, and I'm willing to accept the price.

I used to over-schedule, fearing that I would waste time and be inefficient. Then I realized that the efficiency and quality of my work were suffering and I was physically and mentally exhausted. I then forced myself to deliberately schedule short, free intervals in my schedule. In between meetings, go out for a cup of coffee, have a laugh with a colleague, or take a few minutes to walk along the Huangpu River before a meeting in Lujiazui ......

Energy management trade-offs: streamlining desires, streamlining relationships, streamlining life

I used to have an insatiable appetite for clothes, and when I had too many clothes, I was often torn between them. Now, I keep it simple when I can, and keep it smart when I can, so that every item is essential or comfortable to wear and brings a good mood.

My family has also made a rule of surrendering everything that we can use but haven't used in two years. That way, the environment is clean and the heart is clear and simple. I remember someone saying that the things in your home are either necessary or wonderful.

When I started my business, my income dropped a lot all of a sudden and it was uncomfortable at first. Interestingly, I found that the lower consumption and higher quality after the break made the lower income less difficult to accept. And by giving up the high income and high consumption, I gained the physical and mental freedom to do what I truly love.

Streamlining relationships: human energy is finite, and as we get older, weakening, and after a serious illness in 2008 and months of recuperation following surgery, I promised myself that I would spend my energy on the people and things that made me happy.

I even made a list of the little things that made me happy, and I still have it today: quietly focusing on listening to music instead of using it as background music, eating out more often at an Italian restaurant that I particularly like, going for walks with my family ...... Every time I "waste" my energy on these things I like Whenever I "waste" my energy on these things I enjoy, I always feel a sense of pleasure and balance.

In short, streamline your desires, streamline your relationships, streamline your life and spend your energy on the people and things that are worthwhile.

Trade-offs in mind management: no horizontal comparisons, no demanding perfection

There will always be people in the world who are prettier, smarter, richer, and luckier than us. From our achievements as teenagers to our children's achievements now, the list of comparisons seems endless throughout our lives, and this is one of the reasons why we cannot be at peace and content.

To avoid the negative effects of excessive comparison, I have set myself an internal 'reminder' to sound the alarm as soon as I realize that the stress of comparing myself to others is affecting my life and emotions, and it has worked quite well.

I used to be a perfectionist, weighing up all those "shortcomings" every day, and it was too tiring for me, my family, and everyone around me.

Now I prefer the rule of twenty-eight: do 80% of a job well and leave 20% short. Writing a report, as long as it is sufficient to achieve its purpose, all unnecessary to achieve the highest standard; large speech did not play perfectly, learn from experience, next time better on the line; room cleaning, comfortable and tidy is enough, not necessary to be spotless ......

This has been a test and a journey for me. Now I know how to appreciate and enjoy the process more, instead of being obsessed with the outcome. Sometimes imperfection, on the contrary, brings more truth and a richer texture to life.

In short, don't think about what you shouldn't think about; don't dwell on what you shouldn't dwell on; don't be nostalgic about the past; don't worry about the future in advance ...... give your mind a "break" as well.

Time is fair and does not favor anyone. The real way to balance is to know yourself, believe in yourself, make choices, balance trade-offs, and ultimately leave your precious time, energy, and good attitude to the people and things you care about.