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The Truth About Platonic Relationships

Did you know "platonic relationships" are based on the teachings of the Greek philosopher Plato?

By Margaret MinnicksPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
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People might have heard the term "platonic friendships" or "platonic relationships." They might have even been involved in one of them. However, some people might not know much about platonic friendships or platonic relationships. So, let's set the record straight about what they are and what they are not.

The Name

The Greek philosopher Plato is the person who came up with the concept. Therefore, the term is named after him even though he never used the expression himself.

The Definition

Plato's definition of what platonic friendship is has changed over the years since he came up with the idea. He was convinced that there is a kind of love that develops through a closeness that comes from an attraction of the souls rather than from physical contact. He contended that platonic relationships are based on love and care for another person without lust or sex.

Plato described a platonic relationship as one that is purely spiritual and not physical. Platonic love and platonic friendships involve no physical contact or sexual desire. Plato was convinced that if two people were truly inspired by each other, their spiritual or ideal love would bring them even closer than giving into a physical desire.

Modern interpretation is different from the original intent because today it is not always based on the deep meaning of wisdom and true beauty. Plato's definition of love wasn't about lust and sex at all. Instead, it was love that brought out the best traits in two people who had a special bond.

In the modern popular sense, platonic love is an affectionate relationship where there is no physical display of romance. Platonic friends know their role to advise, encourage and comfort each other without being physically intimate.

What Platonic Friendship Is

Today's definition of platonic love still has some of Plato's original ideas about bonding. However, platonic love now centers around the idea of two people being just close friends.

Platonic friendship usually applies to two heterosexual people of the opposite sex, but it can apply to friendships between two heterosexual people of the same sex as well. Two people can enjoy platonic relationships without having romantic feelings toward each other.

(Photo via commons.wikimedia.org)

What Platonic Friendship Is Not

Friends with benefits is not a platonic relationship because sex is involved. There is no sexual activity involved at all in a platonic friendships. Once romance or sexual activity becomes part of the bond, it is no longer a platonic relationship because a genuine platonic friendship is strictly non-sexual.

Platonic friendships should not be confused with unrequited love where one person has feelings for the other, but the other person may not feel the same way. In a platonic friendship, neither person has romantic feelings for each other even though they might care for each other deeply in other ways.

Characteristics of A Healthy Platonic Relationship

Certain characteristics are necessary for a healthy platonic relationship to survive.

1. Honesty

Honesty should be present in a platonic relationship just as it should be in all relationships. A platonic relationship is best seasoned with honest motives. When people are close, they share details of their lives that should be based on honesty and trust instead of on secrets, lies, and mistrust.

2. Boundaries

Boundaries should be established directly instead of one person making assumptions about the desires of the other. If both parties know what the boundaries are, then they won't be disappointed when their expectations are not met. Rather than guessing what the boundaries are, they should be made clear at the beginning of the platonic relationship. If there are no boundaries, perhaps the relationship isn't so platonic.

Good Things About Platonic Relationships

There are many good things about being in a platonic relationship. Both parties share many of the same interests. Therefore, the friendship is almost never boring. There is always someone to talk to, debate with, and compromise with because two people share the same interests, morals, ideas, and core beliefs. You are almost never alone when you are involved in a platonic relationship because both of you share the same needs and understand each other.

Dangers of Platonic Friendship

Platonic friendships and platonic relationships don't have to be dangerous, but they can be if the two people are not on the same page. One might have feelings for the other person that the other person is not aware of. A friendship could be an honest platonic one at the beginning with no sexual or romantic feelings. Then it might develop into something more demanding.

There is always the chance that a platonic relationship can turn into a romance for only one of the people and not the other. That's when unrequited love exists. Platonic relationships can become a disaster when one of the people wants a physical connection and the other one doesn't. We have seen this happen often in Hallmark movies. A study has shown that some platonic relationships have been ruined after friends became intimate. They admit that sex ruined their friendship.

Those in a platonic relationship shouldn't have any false expectations. If one person in a platonic friendship falls in love with another person, the platonic relationship will suffer. Jealousy is bound to exist because time is shared with another person. In the end, someone might get hurt.

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About the Creator

Margaret Minnicks

Margaret Minnicks shares articles with readers all over the world. Topics include celebrities, royal family, movies, television, foods, drinks, health issues, and other interesting things. Thanks in advance for TIPS that are sent my way.

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