The Tiny Things That Count

I am a romantic at heart, always have been and always will be.

I always approached my relationships with hope and a romantic view of love. I love affection. I believe showing love consistently is the magic glue. It’s a key part of any relationship.

Romance sparks passion, anticipation, and excitement in a relationship. Showing your love can be simple. A kind word, a gentle smile, a soft kiss on the cheek, or a warm hug when your partner is feeling low all show how much you care.

Holding your loved one's hand or saying "I love you" in public strengthens your bond. Always saying goodnight also helps build trust and love.

Showing meaningful attention helps keep romance alive. Simple acts, like kissing, giving small gifts, touching, or whispering sweet nothings, can really matter. From my experience, once the romance is lost, the relationship is also lost.

In the past, marriages have endured with little or no romance “for the sake of the children”. Alternatively, a couple stays together because it is a vow until “death do us part.” I witnessed this with my own parents.

Lately, it’s often, “Forget the kids or marriage vows.” When relationships fall apart, one person usually says, “I’m done!””

So, how do you cope if you are forced to spend long and frequent periods of time apart in a relationship?

Rupi the travelled bear

During my working career, I spent a lot of time travelling internationally. It ultimately took its toll on our relationship. Even before we were married, my wife made me this little brown bear. He was affectionately known as Rupi.

Rupi travelled with me everywhere I went for many years. He even had his own passport. It was a little reminder of home that became very special to me. He became a symbol of what our relationship meant. Every time he was trotted out at a new hotel in some small way, I did not feel so alone.

Rupi became such an integral part of our relationship that he started going on holiday with us.

He had a much greater presence when we were both there. It did not seem quite as strange to have a tiny bear sitting on the nightstand. He attracted a lot of attention, and my wife would always be more than happy to explain how he came. Rupi is still alive and is now in his thirties. A little worse for wear, but still a poignant reminder of times past.

My little box of kisses

Midway through our marriage, my international travel accelerated. I was away from home for over sixty per cent of the time for several years.

While waiting at Heathrow airport on a trip to London, I found a small pewter box, shown in the main image. It was from the children's story "Winnie the Pooh". I had a sudden impulse to buy it for my wife. She loved those little knick-knacks. I often brought her back something that caught my eye.

This little trinket became very special to her, and just like Rupi, it gave her comfort when I was away.

It sat on her bedside table. Inside was a small piece of paper with the following words:

This is a special little box.

It holds things near and true,

I’ve filled it full of kisses,

Loving thoughts for you.

So if you are felling lonely,

Or if you are feeling blue,

If I’ve hurt you,

Or anyone has been unkind,

Open up its tiny lid,

Just long enough to feel,

The kisses and tiny hugs,

Collected just for you.

Even though we are separated now, she still keeps it on her sideboard at home.

Both Rupi and the tiny box were such simple little gestures. They did not cost a lot, but they came with a lot of warmth and love, because it is the tiny things that count!

Till next time,

Calvin