The Story of My FIRST Kiss

I can’t be the only one who was extremely nervous about their first kiss. The area that I came from, everybody was pecking everybody… besides me. I don’t know why but something about a first kiss felt special to me. We’ll really the idea of ANYTHING being your first time doing it, felt special to me. You can do one thing a thousand things but you can only do it the first time ONCE. That memory would forever be in the back of my head somewhere. In my mind, I wanted it to be special, with someone special, in a special place.

There were many chances where I could have had my first kiss but at the last minute I would always chicken out. It was something that I became scared of because what if I did it wrong? I looked up YouTube videos and I asked my friends about it but nothing seemed to prepare me in the way that I thought I needed.

After transferring schools and being the new girl yet once again, I became the center of attention. Of course, every new girl is the one who is talked about or desired by all of the guys. This wasn’t shocking to me because it wasn’t my first time being the new girl and I knew that it wouldn’t be my last time. Luckily, the guys at this school were cute. Either way, I was focused on school and making friends so everything else was just extra.

Quickly, guys began asking for my number and me being single, of course I said yes. Now mind you, at this time I am in 7th grade so none of the flirting, calling or seeing each other at school did not really mean anything. Even having a boyfriend that young means NOTHING! As time passed, I friend zones everyone. They weren’t my type and we were all just better as friends.

Then… one day in the hall, I saw this guy who looked like Soulja boy. I mean they could have been splitting images. I don’t even think that I thought he was cute. Honestly, it was just the fact that he looked JUST like Soulja boy that drew me to him. That day in the hall, I gave him a look and he looked back at me. Him looking back, scared me so I turned facing my locker and ran straight to class.

That entire class I passed notes with my friend Raven explaining how cute I thought he was. She said she would “throw me on” and I begged her not to but after class.. what do ya know.. I’m at my locker and getting my things because it’s the end of the day. The guy comes up to my locker and says… “so I heard that you think I’m cute”. Still facing my locker, I nod my head and he tells me to look at him. See, this guy was in 8th grade so I really didn’t think I had a chance but after looking at him all he said was “I think you’re cute too”. I laughed and had no idea what to say next. I can’t remember the whole conversation but I know it was something along the lines of walking me to class and etc and to carpool. So I agreed on the terms and then I went home.

Excited was an understatement! I mean this guy looked like Soulja boy and it was so easy. I was scared for nothing.

Then, the next day, he found me before and after every class and we held hands on the way to class. It was cool. My nerves had calmed down so it really wasn’t a big deal. If the teachers saw us, they made us unlock hands. We sat together at lunch and talked every chance we got. This lasted for a couple of days.

On Friday, he kept saying we need to make it official. Honestly, I had no idea what he meant. Right before me last class, he walked me to my locked and asked if I was interested in being his girlfriend. I told him yes and I thought that was what being official meant. However, after class he found me right at my locker and said “so when are we going to make it official?” Confused I said “we are official, what do you mean? Lol” He laughed and said no like it’s not official until we kiss. My heart started beating a thousand times a minute and I just said oh… whenever you want. That was my sad excuse at making it seem like this was no big deal to me… but it was.

On Friday, everybody is either going home or going to practice or to the game. I was staying for the game and he had practice. After he told me about the kiss, I ran to my friend and told her everything. She told me to not be scared and just do it because it’s no big deal. So after avoiding him for about an hour after school, my friend and I were hanging out by my locker. He came up and said “so let’s do this”. He grabbed my hand and we walked down the hall. He brought me down the steps and as confused as I was, I had to ask “where?” And he said “here” and pointed to under the stairs.

Oh hell no! My first kiss would be with THIS GUY UNDER THE STAIRS? I was not ready for this and I was so scared and this is NOT what I imagined. I stood there scared as hell under these creepy ass stairs and not to mention, the lights were dimmed because school was out!! He could tell that I was scared and I have to give him his props for trying to console me.

He leaned in… so… so did I…

That had to be the weird 3 minutes of my life. First of all… I was not expecting this to be a tongue situation! I hadn’t even PECKED anyone before. My eyes opened wide, seeing his still closed and just praying for it to end sooner than later. What I had expected to be fireworks was nothing more than saliva dripping from my lips and the idea of wishing I would have never stayed after school for the game.

As he opened his eyes, I closed mine to pretend that I was into it. We backed away from each other and he said okay well now we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend and I said “okay I’m going back upstairs.” He went to his game and the next morning, I came to school and put a note in his locker saying that I was breaking up with him. LMAO. He’s asked me why and I said I just wanted to be single. We never talked again.

UNTIL… a couple of years later on Facebook, everyone was doing “TBH” status. Whenever he did mine, he mentioned how passionate our kiss was and that he misses me and etc. I knew at that moment that men can truly be delusional at times because that was the first and worst kiss of my life. There was no passion involved. I still can feel the saliva literally dripping from my lip.