The Ship That Took My True Love Away

Southampton, England

April 1912

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” I say.

Matthew hugs me tightly to his chest, as if he never wants to let me go. Tears form in my eyes and I take a deep breath to try and keep them at bay. I want to be strong for him, for both of us.

Since we met almost a year ago to the day, we have rarely been apart. We had been meeting in secret this whole time, me an aristocrat from London and him a poor factory worker from Ireland. I met him by accident, at an underground jazz club I went to with some friends, a place my father would be appalled that I ever stepped foot in.

He spilled a drink on me after someone bumped into him and I was so angry that my new dress was ruined that I turned around to give him a piece of my mind. After we talked for a while, I decided to give him my heart instead.

We fell instantly, madly, completely in love and stayed that way ever since. He would bring me little flowers and trinkets, shower me with compliments and take me all over London, showing me places that astonished and delighted me. I had lived there my whole life and I never really knew it until Matthew opened my eyes to a whole new world outside of the tidy little life my parents had given me.

My older sister was the only person in my family who knew about him and that’s only because she caught me sneaking into my room through the window in the middle of the night. She demanded an explanation and after six months of keeping my secret, I needed to tell someone I trusted. I needed her advice, because she knew as well as I that my father would never approve of the match. I told her how much I loved him and that I couldn’t possibly live without him.

She listened to me for a long while, sighed, and then clapped her hands together. She always did that when she had a plan brewing.

“Well, Lizzie, one of us should be in love when they wed, and it’s not going to be me since I’m already betrothed,” she says frankly.

“But, Mary, father will never say yes, even if Matthew asks him,” I say tearfully.

“No tears, Lizzie. You are a Wharton and you have a much stronger backbone than that. You know father, he’s a business man. So we will have to make sure Matthew can present him with a good offer for your hand. Let me speak to Richard and see if he can’t find a job for him in his company. It may take time, but maybe he can work his way up and become a man father would approve of,” she tells me.

It was a sound plan, except for one tiny detail. Richard, her fiance, owned an accounting firm and Matthew dropped out of school at quite a young age. He never really had a head for numbers so it was a long shot he would be able to move up before I became an old maid. He tried, my Matthew, he really did. Mary had Richard wrapped around her finger, as she was a beautiful young woman and Richard was getting on in age. Richard gave Matthew every opportunity he could, but it just wasn’t working out.

I told him it didn’t matter, I would marry him as a poor factory worker and learn to make my own clothes and how to cook and clean. Secretly I had no idea how I would accomplish these tasks, but I was willing to do anything to be with the man I loved. He took my face between his hands and kissed me softly on the lips.

“You deserve better than all that, lass. You’re a fine woman who is used to fine things, and I want to give them to ye. I want to give ye the world, my love,” he told me.

I melted in his arms, as I did every time he spoke with his charming accent and called me ‘lass’. My sister and I tried to come up with other ideas, but it was no use here in London. Matthew would always be regarded as an outsider, being from Ireland. No reputable English businesses would hire someone with his background and lineage. Matthew told me not to worry, that he would find a way.

The morning after he told me that, my father called me into his office. I dreaded going in there. He wasn’t an overly kind or caring man, that’s what my mother was for. He was the breadwinner and the man of the house and he made sure everyone knew it.

“Elizabeth, I have received an offer for your hand in marriage from an extremely wealthy and prestigious family and I intend to agree to the arrangement,” he tells bluntly.

My blood runs cold, my heart stops beating and I can barely take a breath. This can’t be happening. What am I going to do, how am I going to tell Matthew?

“I don’t think I’m ready for marriage yet, Papa,” I say in my sweetest voice. I am hoping to win him over with a good disposition, but the look on his face tells me that he’s already made up his mind.

“Nonsense, you are 19 years old, more than old enough for marriage. Your mother was 17 when we wed,” he replies.

“But, Papa-” I start to say but he interrupts me.

“No buts. I have made my decision and your mother approves of the young man. She did mention that it’s more proper now to have a long engagement, so we have decided on a year,” he informs me.

I don’t think I give my mother enough credit for being an astute and cunning woman. I wonder how much she knows about my secret love affair and if she charmed my father into giving me more time to work things out.

“Yes, Papa,” I reply and walk out.

As soon as I am able, I sneak out to see Matthew and give him the news. His expression turns angry but then hopeful and I ask him what he’s thinking.

“I’m thinking that timing is everything, lass. My cousin sent me a telegram that he started a new business in America and it’s doing so well he could use my help. He’s willing to bring me on as a partner. If I work very hard over the next year, I could probably save up enough to bring ye over to be with me, maybe even get us a little house,” he says with a bright smile.

“Well, that’s wonderful!” I reply and he kisses me soundly on the lips.

“There’s a ship sailing in a few weeks and I’m going to be on it. They say it’s the biggest steamship to ever grace the seas, and that it’s unsinkable! Imagine that! Me on such a grand boat,” he exclaims.

Over the next few weeks we spend every minute we can together, making plans for the future and laughing and kissing well into the evenings. There’s love and hope in my heart and I pray every night that things will go well for Matthew. My own selfish reasons aside, he’s a good man and he deserves a comfortable life after everything he’s been through.

Now, here we are, at the moment of our parting, and I can barely stand to let him go. I don’t know how I will make it a whole year without his laughter, his touch, his love. He’s changed me, made me a woman I can be proud of and given me a gift I can never repay. Matthew has given me a true, deep and meaningful love.

“I wish I dinna have to go either, lass, but it’s only a year. Less than, if I can help it. I will work myself to the bone so we can see each other again as soon as possible,” Matthew says.

I look up at the huge, looming form of the huge passenger liner and my stomach starts to churn.

“Don’t go. Stay here, we’ll elope and we can work hard and save together. I can get a job, I’m sure there’s something I’m qualified for,” I plead with him.

“Lass, dinna ye worry yourself. The time will fly by before you know it. You’re not meant for hard labor, my love. Just give me the year, and I promise ye I’ll send for ye,” he assures me.

“I have a bad feeling about this, Matthew. Please don’t go,” I say with tears falling down my cheeks.

“Lizzie, it’s just a wee boat, nothing to worry about. And I will be writing ye a letter every day I’m on it and send them all when I get to New York,” he replies and kisses each of my cheeks gently.

“Write me two letters a day,” I demand softly.

“Two it is,” he whispers in my ear as he hugs me tightly once again. The loud sound of the ship’s horn breaks us out of our reverie and he releases me reluctantly.

“I have to go now, Lizzie. Look for my letters, and be good, my love. Don’t sit at home and pine over me, go out and have fun just like we did,” he instructs me.

A swift, sweet kiss on the mouth and then he’s leaving my arms, running towards the entrance to the ship.

“I love you, lass!” he shouts out to me.

“I love you!” I yell back with a wide smile.

A little later, as I watch the ship sail far away on the horizon, I wonder if I’ll ever see my true love again...