Divorce Story

I watched the movie Marriage Story last night starring Adam Driver and ScoJo. I know, I’m late to this party, but better late than never.

If you haven’t had the pleasure of watching Adam Driver act in anything yet, please watch this movie if for only that reason. His portrayal of a good but imperfect man trying to do what’s right by his son but also at the mercy of his own pride is positively breathtaking. He should have won the academy award for best actor in my humble opinion because he played the role so perfectly that you can’t help but feel incredibly moved by him at the end of the movie, especially the scene where he sings Sondheim’s Being Alive.

In fact, if you’re really not interested in investing your time into the whole 2 hour movie, please, I beg of you, watch the clip of Adam singing at the end. It quantifies the entire experience of what it’s like to lay dying on the battlefield of a failed relationship.

Yes, Adam’s character made the mistake of not acknowledging that his wife had dreams too, dreams that were different from his and that may have taken sacrifice on his part. You can easily see why she left him and how their relationship fell apart. But you can just as easily see that it takes two to make a marriage work.

Why didn’t she communicate her feelings better before it was too late? Why couldn’t she have fired a warning shot before going in for the kill? Then again, why didn’t he notice that day by day little pieces of her were being chipped away from his failure to truly see her?

What’s that famous quote? There’s his side, her side and the truth. This piece of cinematic artistry covered all the bases, also while giving poignant perspective on just how far reaching and traumatic a divorce can be on extended family members and friends.

I will readily admit that the scene where ScoJo tells her mother she is not allowed to love her ex-husband anymore made me laugh out loud and gives a moment of great comic relief to an otherwise very intense storyline.

I know many have reviewed this movie before and both the lead actors received countless praise for the rawness and vulnerability that came through in their roles as husband and wife, but my review comes not from a famous critic or a Hollywood guru, but a divorced woman with a son the same age. My viewpoint and opinions come from a place of experience, 2 1/2 years of it in fact.

My situation is a bit different and my ex is nothing like Adam Driver’s character Charlie, but the sentiment is the same. Both Adam and ScoJo delivered performances that showed the complex nuances of what it’s like to separate from a person you once loved, to divide your family in such a way that nobody will escape unscathed.

When ScoJo says “I can’t believe I have to know you the rest of my life” or when Adam shockingly admits that he wishes his wife dead every morning, I felt those lines in my bones. The process of divorce and custody sharing is relentless and exhausting, draining every last energy store you have and destroying a part of yourself you thought you wanted to get rid of and realized too late that you couldn’t bear to let go.

The lawyers played by Laura Dern and Ray Liotta were absolutely superb and accurate AF, as the modern age person would say. The vulturistic way both of them approach their clients by playing on their innocence of the process and taking advantage of their emotions is spine tingling and all too familiar to someone who has been through it.

The way the movie was directed and filmed in addition to the phenomenal acting leaves you short of breath, gasping for one last scene or just one more line. It’s unapologetic and brutal truth telling made me feel as if someone reached into my body and pulled out my guts. I hated and loved both actors at different times throughout the film, and yet I couldn’t help but identify with both of their reasoning behind their actions at every turn.

My only caveat with the movie was that the title should have been Divorce Story. At the time we meet these characters, the marriage story has already reached its conclusion. I will not agree that divorce could be considered the epilogue of a marriage, but rather feel like like it’s a sequel or a spin-off.

Unnecessary spoiler alert: it’s not a happy ending.

It leaves you with a bittersweet relief that mirrors the expressions on both actors faces as the final scene cuts out. Marriage Story takes everything you have left in your emotional gas tank and then asks for more, but in the end you’re happy to fill her up again.