The Number one Rule for Dating

In your 20s you spend a lot of time comforting and reassuring friends after a bad date, because they're being ghosted or when they feel they can't find anyone. Many people put too much pressure on themselves to date successfully, and to meet someone within a certain timeframe. It doesn't work that way. You can't plan your future love life and expect life to follow those guidelines. I'm sorry, but your life isn't a fairytale. Wishing for something doesn't make it happen, and you shouldn't expect it to.

The dating scene changes all the time, and it becomes less and less common to meet people organically. It's not easy to find a person you vibe well with, are attracted to and that you actually could see yourself with in the long run. You can't watch a romcom with a cute love story and then expect the same to happen to you. You can plan out things for your own life and work towards them, but when something involves another person, you can no longer control it. Feelings can't be controlled. You don't possess the power to manipulate the timeline of your life, so putting pressure on yourself to meet someone is unfair. It's simply out of your control.

Putting pressure on themselves often lead people to date out of desperation, which is totally wrong. It takes away the joy from something that should be an exciting part of your life. There's lots of advice that can be given about dating, but the most important rule you can set for yourself is to only do it because it feels right. Dating should excite you and make you happy, it shouldn't feel like work. You shouldn't force yourself to do something that feels draining or doesn't spark joy. That's just a waste of energy, and you're better off spending your time doing something else. If you're not excited to date, I don't think it's gonna go too well anyway. You want to offer the best possible you to the person you go on a date with, and you can't do that if you're not in the right mindset.

If you're not excited or you feel that dating is draining your energy, you might not be ready or in the right place to be doing it. Going on a date with someone should be thrilling and exciting, and not feel like a chore. I have seen my friends get ready for dates with the "I just want to get it over with"-attitude. Why would you spend your time doing something you don't actually enjoy? And, I am pretty sure the person you are meeting can tell you don't wanna be there. It's also not fair on them to have that attitude, or to waste their time when you're already over it.

Don't go on dates because it feels like it's something you should be doing. Don't start dating because your ex has met someone new and you feel like you're falling behind. Don't start dating because you're bored. Don't start dating because all your friends are in relationships. Don't start dating because you're desperate. Don't go on dates because you're getting to the end of your planned time frame to meet someone. Start dating because you actually want to. It's totally okay to be single. You don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. Take your time, work on yourself and wait until you're in the right place to date.

If you're at a point in your life where you feel you really need to meet someone, you more than anything need to relax. Who's gonna go on a date with someone who clearly is desperate to pretend you're perfect and "the one" for them, just because they want to have someone? There is no sugarcoating the fact that desperation is anything but sexy. You don't want to intimidate someone by being too full-on, because you're so excited of the thought of possibly having a significant other. There is no right answer to when the right time for dating is, but desperation is definitely the wrong one. Don't go chasing love, let it come to you. Accept that you're not in control of this one thing in your life. Everything doesn't have to be pre-planned.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you enjoyed this article, please share it on your social media and send it to someone you think will like it too!

If you enjoyed this article and would like to support me, you can send me a tip below this story, which would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for your support!