The Memoir

It was one of those boring evenings when I used to come back home after a tiring day at the office and doesn’t know what to do. I was hungry but not in a mood to eat alone. I wanted good company, but after my ex-boyfriend gave me a goodbye kiss, no one else showed an interest in me. I remembered my grandmother say, “ The bankrupt guy gets back to his old books.” And I did the same. I took a seat at the comfortable armchair at the corner of the room and went through a small black notebook containing memories from school’s time. I laughed like hell when I came to read my note on Philip Langston. He was the dullest guy in the class. I remembered when he dared to ask me out to dinner. I was surprised initially, then with a second thought, I agreed because no one else had ever tried to date me till then. The time we spent finishing our dinner was a disaster. Philip confessed to me that I was the first girl who agreed to go out with him, “I tried with all the girls at the class but no one …”

I cut him short, “So, I was the last on your list?”

He was not embarrassed, “Ah, yes, the last. I was looking for someone more feminine.”

“What!” I screamed, “you’re really dull. You’re …” And I threw the knife and fork and ran away crying.

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I closed the small black notebook. Fifteen years have passed since that disastrous dinner, and I believe now that Philip was right when he said I was not feminine enough. No boyfriend accepted me since then if he had a better choice. And none of my relations lasted more than a couple of months.

I was so hungry now and ready to eat anything, but I decided to have a hot shower first and then relax and watch a movie while I ate my dinner.

The small window in the bathroom was one of my favorite details of the apartment. I could see a long line of illuminated towers through it while I was under the shower. It’s like looking into the future; I thought while enjoying the excitement of warm water drops sliding rapidly down the smooth surface of my body.

I turned my eyes slowly from the fabulous view of the towers to gaze at my legs. “I’m so attractive,” I told myself aloud. What I’m missing is the luck or maybe the confidence to present myself proudly.

The memory of lovers who had deserted me returned to my mind, but now I had a different view. Maybe they were attracted to me, but I didn’t treat them well! Looking again at my legs in the mirror, I thought, Maybe I was busy minded giving more priority to my job in real estate rather than my love affair, aiming desperately to be the number one seller in the region! And felt at peace.

After my shower, I opened the fridge to find something to eat and put some cold meat and bread pieces on the table. Then I changed my mind – What bland food! – and decided to cook rice stick noodles with some exotic mushrooms.

While I was eating and watching a movie, a curious thought suddenly came into my mind, What about Philip, what did he do after high school, how life’s treating him now! And I decided to call him the next morning- hoping he would invite me for dinner to remember the old days.

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We met at the same restaurant he had invited me to the first time. He arrived late and looked unhandsome as he used to be at school or even worse, but more energetic and confident. He didn’t even notice the effort I made to look likable nor care to say any compliments. He just said Hi as if we met yesterday and went through the menu to order food.

Till the waiter brought the food, Philip received so many calls and took his time talking over his cellular like I was not there.

I didn’t mind his odd behavior. I was interested in what he was saying in his telephone conversation. He sounded like a big shot talking millions.

I gazed prudently at his facial feature and the way he dressed. Yes, he was not so desirable. But, watching him talking business in an authoritative tone, he looked kind of alpha, ultimately dominant, and successful. For a mature woman like me more interested in financial freedom, he could be the ideal husband.

The first question I asked him when I had a chance to talk if he met the woman of his dream.

“A lot.” He answered while stuffing himself with rice and meat.

“A lot!”

“Yes, I spent a fortune on each of them, but they all left me.”

“Why?” I asked though I was expecting the answer.

“They came to the same conclusion that I’m dull.”

And when he wanted to know something about me, I didn’t talk about the lovers who deserted me. Waves of confidence ran through me as a successful businesswoman. I crossed my legs at the knees, placed my hands together on my lap, and lengthened my spine. In short, I managed to sit tall. And in a proud tone, I talked about my job in real estate. I presented myself as a legend - talented in networking with other professionals and service providers whose services complement real estate.

That time only he stopped eating and looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time. His eyes radiated a sort of appreciation that made me believe he would realize that I’m a better choice than a sexy woman who doesn’t have more than her sexual appearance. I expected him to say something that surprises me, and he did.

“Real estate! You said you’re doing well in real estate?”

“Yes, I did!”

“The most important in the real estate business is trust. I trust nobody in this city, but I trust you because I know you from school time and willing to sign with you an exclusive agreement to sell my penthouse apartment.”

After dinner, we went to Philip Langston’s office. There we signed the agreement, which helped me make a commission of twenty thousand dollars, and more importantly, become Mrs. Langston. The woman who knows how to take care of her family, business, and femininity - at one time.

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Forty years have passed since that golden night. Now Philip and I are seventy years old. We’re celebrating our anniversary on the island of love – Capri. It’s fantastic that we still make love like day one and keep writing our memoir on a small black notebook to keep our sweet memories alive.