The Man Who Brought Her Down

There I was. As I layed in bed scrolling through Facebook, I saw that message request. Good looking guy, right? So naturally I responded to his message. The talk was casual, and then he gave me his phone number.. so I called him. We talked a good couple hours on the phone with conversations about our lives and this and that. The one thing that got me about our phone conversation was that he was drinking a vodka mixed drink and he was a little loopy it seemed to me (that should’ve been my first clue).

Two months later.

I had started a relationship with this man about a week after we had met each other (I know..). He had mentioned to me that if I don’t live with him, then he can’t trust me (red flag). Me. A NEW girlfriend. That he can’t trust? He had his own insecurities from his past relationship, which I understood how he felt. I did however want to live with him as well, so we moved in together after two months of being together.

I remember having my uhaul parked in the apartment parking lot. We had taken his car to the store for an errand before unloading the uhaul. I couldn’t find my phone, so naturally I started to freak out because I couldn’t find it. He didn’t like how I was acting, and started to argue with me about it, and I started to argue back. His temper was shown to me for the first time, and his attitude.. “You can just take that uhaul and bring it back to your moms!”.. all over the incident in the car.. I couldn’t believe it. I broke down into a frantic screaming cry, his words hurt. I couldn’t breathe. How mean he was acting I just couldn’t believe this was happening. I sat in the car still alone crying for an hour, and then he came out to talk to me. He told me I needed to calm down. He wasn’t taking responsibility for how mean he was acting, but instead, turned the whole situation around on me and it was my fault. He hugged me, I stopped crying, and he said “So you going to be my girl, or what?”

We got into our new day to day routine of being together in the apartment. Things were going smoothly, until..

I was at work. I got a text message from him, he was freaking out on me.. He had been going through my iPad I left at home. He found OLD messages from before I had met him from other men. He was furious.

“You’re not the woman I thought you were!”

“I want you out!”

“You’re a whore!”

What did I do? Nothing.. his own insecurities took over him, and I was the one paying for it.. I stayed in a hotel that night after work, I wasn’t going home to where I was going to be yelled at. His texts continued to pour into my phone. Cussing at me. Name calling. Accusing me of being this “whore” that I wasn’t, all because of old text messages from guys I knew before him. He threatened for me to come home or all my stuff will be on the lawn.. I didn’t. I ignored his texts the rest of the night and did my best to get some sleep (I tossed and turned the whole night).

The morning came and it was time to check out of the hotel, and go home. I remember being scared, but not scared of going home.. scared of him.. the yelling, me crying, and me having to defend myself for NOTHING. I got home, and he was upset, saying how I hurt HIM.. (really?). I considered moving out. That was going to be best. We didn’t talk the rest of day.

He came to me. He wanted to explain himself. That’s how he was, everything was about HIM. He didn’t care I was upset for the way he acted towards me. He wanted me to see HIS side. “I don’t want things to be like this.” He said to me. (Like what? 2 months into a new relationship and I’m getting treated this way..) He wanted to move on from the fight. He said, “You going to be my girl, or what?”