The Man in the Relationship

by Chimdi Chime 3 months ago in love

Can you change him?

The Man in the Relationship

I wasn’t sure he loved me or even liked me enough. I knew he was out there. I knew a lot of my schoolmates knew him. To me he was proud, arrogant, very annoying and inconsiderate towards my feelings. I met him through social media and my first encounter with him on there was not pleasant. I wondered why someone I had never met in person before was so rude to me, I wondered if I accidentally came across him before and offended him in some way for him to be rude towards me. Thinking back at it, I feel like that was his way of getting my attention. He constantly sent me messages and would never fail to be annoying. As time passed, we started to talk quite often on social media, and he did apologize after a while for being rude in the beginning.

I honestly do not remember very well how things got to the point of me becoming his girlfriend but somehow it did. And also, this is still all through social media, you know what let me stop saying social media, I think you guys get it by now. To be more specific, it was through the good old Black Berry Messenger, BBM, I prefer to actually say that, because I associate BBM with a lot of good or fun memories I had growing up, “social media” sort of makes the memories seem less fun, if you get me. But anyways, as I was saying, we became a couple, I agreed to this solely because of one thing, I wanted to change him, oh my goodness, hearing myself say that in my head is just funny. Who did I think I was, Mother Teresa, girl… I wouldn’t say he was the worst person on earth but he didn’t exactly have the best of characters, and I thought that dating him would help me make him a better human being. Honestly, I don’t think it’s just me. I think because naturally women are more nurturing and caring, we can tend to think that we can change our partners, especially the men. This works sometimes, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that the man loves us so much he is willing to do away with certain things and act in certain ways they didn’t before. So, it makes me believe that it’s love that can change a man, or woman it can go both ways.

I don’t believe I made significant efforts to try and change my boyfriend—oh yes, we are back to my little social experiment of wanting to “change” the guy I was dating. But, when we did talk, I would make him aware of things he said or did that weren’t exactly the right thing to do or say. I thought I was doing the world some big favor when I thought I was changing him. However, one day comes along, and on my boyfriend’s display picture on BBM was a whole other girl, like are you kidding me… I went to him—well on the phone—and asked him what that was all about. I believe the caption or handle with the picture was also insinuating that he liked this girl. He told me that he was with her. I remember him being really normal about it, like we weren’t together. He told me that unlike me, she didn’t care what people thought of her and he liked that. To him, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Obviously I ended it after that, I wasn’t really hurt because I didn’t have deep feelings for him but I did feel a little jealous of the other girl.

I didn’t change him as you can tell, my mission was not accomplished, although If I want to be really honest, I recall that relationship lasting less than 3 months. I guess if I wanted any real change it should have lasted longer. There is nothing wrong with wanting to change a person, especially if they have bad habits or a bad character, there is only so much you can do and say to help them, but they can only really change if they care enough about you and are willing to accept you and all that you want to do for them.

How does it work?
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Chimdi Chime

I am a mind wanderer who wants to turn my mind travels into a reality. I am a strong woman with lot's to learn. I love to express myself in so many different ways, from my experiences and what I have learned, so I hope you love my stories. 

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