There comes a stage in a person's life, where they begin to question what they are, who they are, or what they are doing on this earth. This stage is where people begin to find themselves—or try to; you might also look at other peoples' lives and compare them to yours, and wonder why you are where you are. I believe this stage in a person's life is very crucial. Honestly there is not much shaping in someone's life when they are kids as some believe; I think the shaping comes much later, mid-twenties to be a bit more precise.
Ever had one of those weeks or months or just a period in your life that so many things are happening to you but you aren't sure what feeling you should have? That has been me this past few weeks. From everything that has happened, my emotions have been everywhere, and I feel so confused and not sure how to feel anymore. I was mad at myself, then I was okay, I was frustrated financially, then I came to terms with it, then I was mad again at someone else, financially frustrated, sad, then sick, like actually sick. I received some great news, which was actually more than a year late, but I guess there is a time for everything, but I couldn't even be completely happy about that because of the other things going on in my life.
I wasn’t sure he loved me or even liked me enough. I knew he was out there. I knew a lot of my schoolmates knew him. To me he was proud, arrogant, very annoying and inconsiderate towards my feelings. I met him through social media and my first encounter with him on there was not pleasant. I wondered why someone I had never met in person before was so rude to me, I wondered if I accidentally came across him before and offended him in some way for him to be rude towards me. Thinking back at it, I feel like that was his way of getting my attention. He constantly sent me messages and would never fail to be annoying. As time passed, we started to talk quite often on social media, and he did apologize after a while for being rude in the beginning.
Have you been at stage in your life where you ask yourself, “What is my purpose in life?” Maybe you are at that stage currently, maybe you haven’t gotten there or you already passed that stage. But, I believe everyone in life will ask themselves that question at some point. For me, I asked myself that question a couple of weeks back, and I didn’t have an answer to it. You might have a regular job, getting your daily bread, and are somewhat comfortable with your life, but it’s the feeling of fulfillment that drives you to want to have a purpose. I sort of followed a manual all my life, I took all the steps society and my parents deemed necessary to grow in life; but at this point, I’m not sure I want to keep climbing those steps. I want to branch out and do things I never thought I could do. I believe I’ll find my purpose that way, but you can never be too certain. I go to work everyday, I like where I work and the people I work with, but I just don’t want it to be all I do. While I was in school, all I did was centered around school. I didn’t have much of a social life. I lived, ate, and slept school. It was my sole priority which was right, but I should have had a balance to do more extracurricular activities and have a good time with friends. If I was not doing school work, I just always felt like I was doing something wrong, which was not a healthy mentality. Now, I’m not in school anymore, I feel like I need to... actually, I have to do things differently because I need to find myself, what I’m here for, and the things that make me genuinely happy while being right with God.
“I am not my hair,” is something I constantly tell myself, because my hair is my insecurity. Growing up as a young girl, my hair never concerned me, I did know that my hair was not “normal,” that is, it was not similar to every other little girl. I knew this because my mom told me I did not have a lot of hair, especially in-front, from my hairline. She didn’t say this in any insulting way or anything like that, everyone in my family joked to some extent about it, but it was normal and all love. My mom did so many things to help my hair grow better, sometimes my hair showed better growth, other times it was just bad.
A very important factor in a good relationship is communication. A lot of people would agree with me on this one. Communication in your relationship doesn’t just mean always having something to talk about when you are together, it also means talking about everything you feel and think about in regards to your relationship. Yes, the both of you might share similar interests in music, always discussing the latest albums, how this artist should have partnered with that artist, and all the controversies within the music industry. But when it comes to certain things you feel about your partner, you cave in and don’t want to talk about it. In one of my relationships, I used to think my partner hated to talk about our relationship, he always thought it was too serious a topic. And that’s true, for a lot of people, talking about their relationship to each other is “too serious” and it kills the fun. Just like you don’t have to be so serious all the time, it doesn’t have to be fun all the time as well.