Raise your hand if you keep getting stuck in relationships with the same type of man? By type, I don't necessarily mean they all have brown hair. I mean the same level of man. They may look different, have different types of jobs or family dynamics. The traits that clusters these men together under the same umbrella are ones such as their emotional maturity and the number of red flags you over look time and time again. If your anything like me, I get stuck with the same level of man every FREAKIN’ time! I still find myself turning my head at all the same type of guy that turned my head when I was 16. Why?! They look exciting? I know exactly where exciting leads, straight to hell! Climbing out of hell is really hard! I am NOT trying to go back!
So, I’ve devised a plan in hopes of preventing history from repeating itself. Ladies, let me introduce you to a brand new game called THE MAN HUNT.
For the record, I’m not on a hunt for a relationship, I am not looking for the love of my life or a soulmate. I'm so not ready for that yet. Just the opposite. I came up with this idea while hanging out with a new male friend I made, who asked me a very simple question. He asked me what my type was. I wasn’t fooling myself into thinking this guy was interested in my personal development, or trying to engage me in critical thinking. No, he wanted me to list off all the qualities that would describe him and boost his ego a little. Unfortunately for him, I’m not the kinda girl that strokes egos, so he got the honest answer. The answer was I had no idea. On the way home that afternoon, The Man Hunt was born.
The Man Hunt
The man hunt is based on the childhood slumber party game we used to play called a Scavenger Hunt. I think most are familiar with this game, but I will explain just in case you aren't. At the beginning of the game we would break up into teams of 3 or 4 kids. Each team would be given a list, usually created by a parent. We would then take to the streets, combing the creaks and knocking on neighbors’ doors looking for the items on our list. Item’s like a safety pin, a lime, a pink pen, an orange button, a flat rock, or a box of raisins. We were given a time limit, though for the life of me I have no idea how a bunch of kids, no watches, in a pre-cell phone world ever made it back on time. Which ever team made it back to the starting point with the most items on their list checked off was the winning team.
A little window into self-awareness here, something that you might want to note. Not one of us gave a flying fig about a safety pin or an orange button. Normally, everything on this list were things we all had at home. The point of this game was the excitement of discovery. That is the spirit of this hunt also. It is very important that you play it in the right frame of mind. Get out of the mind set that you NEED a man that owns a home and drives a nice car. Or that you WANT a man who is cultured and can jet you off to exciting places. The Man Hunt isn't about finding Mr. Right. If you aren't playing the game in the right state of mind, you wont win. The objective of this game is to DISCOVER, and (briefly) experience a wide variety of qualities. In this frame of mind, there will be no self-imposed pressure about how you look or what they will think. There will be no expectations and therefor no disappointment. The game starts by making a list of different traits and qualities in a man. Remember these should be things you haven't experienced in a man you have dated already. My list started like this. I was looking for a man who..
1. Has read Withering Heights
2. Has gone to a musical or opera
3. Has traveled to other countries
4. Is an artist
5. Does yoga
6. Wears a suit and tie to work each day
7. Owns a home
8. Was born over seas
9. Plays in a band
10. Who Speaks French
I continued my list thinking of the most obscure traits possible. Once my list was complete I began to seek out these men to spend a little time with. For the record, I don't believe in being dishonest about my intentions or playing games. I was very clear about my unavailability and my strictly platonic intentions. Warning, men tend to take statements like that as a challenge, so be firm, they smell weakness.
The goal is by the time I check off my list, I will have an answer to the question that was asked of me. I will know what my type is and what I’m actually looking for. Then, game won, I will be ready to go on the other kind of man hunt. The one that will hopefully lead me to my Mr. Forever.
Ready to play? Ready, set, GO!!!