The long road

It's been a long road, a rocky road, a journey that always brings me full circle. I once went for what I thought was going to be a short stroll, that turned into a long walk and eventually became a journey. I wasn't sure at the beginning what I was looking for on my stroll. Maybe something to fill the void and emptiness inside. Maybe a long lost feeling or emotion. Actually, I honestly don't believe I was looking for anything at all. I was lost and searching for answers to unanswerable questions. You were but a shadow from the past...long past.

Suddenly you were there in the present time. The same as I remembered but yet different too. Still I was a shadow of your past that you didn't even remember. I continued on my stroll. As I meandered on my way I felt as though I was being watched from afar. I would glance back to see you looking but never getting too close. I continued. Then one day you spoke. Maybe not directly to me but I was nearby and heard that oh so familiar voice. I knew that voice, although I hadn't heard it in years, I could recognize it anywhere. It was a strong voice. Not a loud one but one that when heard would cause me to pay attention.

The first time you spoke to me that voice was soft and silly and nervous all at the same time. It made me anxious, it made my heart race and it was hard to breathe. I didn't understand. Here I was just leisurely strolling along and then you stepped into my path. Maybe my path was meant to be shared. But was it wide enough for two? Up until now it was a single person path. I wasn't sure if I was ready to share it just yet. Time marched on and I was still just strolling along and happy to do so.

The first real conversation seemed to take forever to happen and although short in it's length, was a nice one. When we saw each other, the laughs were incredible and the time spent, although short at times, was amazing. For a short time I could leave the everyday crap behind, even if just for one day. We talked a lot. I mean A WHOLE LOT! His smile knocked me off my feet and the twinkle in his eyes was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Maybe, just maybe it was time to share my path.

My stroll became a walk after the first time he kissed me. From that moment I knew we would walk together hand in hand. I no longer wondered what I was searching for because there it stood before me. What I wanted most was to simply be happy. The days turned to nights and the nights to better days. So many conversations, so much to say and share and feel. What would this lead to? Where was this going? How long would it last? All valid questions that had no answers right now.

He was a quiet man. A man who didn't easily share emotions or feelings. There was such a strength in his silence. A strength that was so overpowering. I felt safe within that strength, comfort with his quiet. I knew in my heart of hearts that I would always be safe with him in my life. We really were opposites. The things I liked, he knew little about and the things he was passionate about were not my passions. They say opposites attract but I was struggling with the fact that we were so different. It would mean a lot of changes, A lot of understanding and acceptance. I didn't know if I could do that.

We walked together, down the same road, side by side, hand in hand. We chose this path together. Differences aside, the need to be together despite the obstacles, was our driving force. The road was often bumpy with twists and turns. There were times we took separate paths for a short time and then came back together on the same path. I will never forget the first time I said "I love you." I felt so stupid and ridiculous and then realized how scared I was. I said "I'm sorry"and when he said "I'm in the same boat"...I could finally breathe.

My short stroll, that turned into a long walk, was now beginning a beautiful journey. The definition of Journey is: an act of traveling from one place to another. Yes we were on a journey. One that has taken us from day 1 -"Hi how are you" to the present day where every day ends with "I love you" "I love you more." Yes...sometimes we struggle to stay on that shared path and yes, sometimes we stray off for various reasons but at the end of the day, the long road I have chosen to take, no matter how bumpy and rocky, always brings me home to you.

My search has ended because the happy I was looking for is what I found when I found you <3

Thanks for being my strength, my rock and my love-

I love you more G.