The little black book

“Uggghh”, she sighed, that’s never a good first word in the morning.

The alarm went off, just as Jess finally found the release to fall asleep. She didn’t even know why she set the alarm; she hadn’t slept soundly for…. she couldn’t even remember when. I guess it was just a way to mark time. It had been like a dream, this crazy whirlwind situation she found herself in. She tried to play all the scenarios out in her head, until she was sure it was going to literately explode! Skull fragments mixed with blood and brain matter splattered in the blinds, tangled in her matted red hair dripping onto the floor in a puddle of human mush. Imagine walking into that…But who would find her, no one was coming anywhere near her now. She couldn’t buy a friend these days. Or could she?

Today was the day. After months of sleepless nights, like the one she was waking up from now, it was here. Who would have guessed this was the way it would play out?

She pulled herself up with an energy she hadn’t had in quite some time, like a puppet being controlled by strings. She had no control it seemed, and yet she was up. She could feel her body moving, but mentally she was still across the room on the bed under the sheets, unable to move. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind and focus her eyes. Her head was spinning and ached like a tooth that has rotted and fallen away exposing the root. Her eyes were red, itchy, and puffy and seeping something sticky. Her mouth was so dry she could barely lick her lips to separate them from her teeth, and her breath…

How did she get here? She couldn’t remember how she made it home. She didn’t know how she had gotten away, was it just a bad dream?

She had lost track of time, lost connection with her friends and lost a part of herself, the part that made her human. And now she was willing to do anything to get that back. Afterall, it was the “anything” that got her in the trouble she found herself in now.

Let’s go back a bit and catch you up.

It was nearly January; she had been saving her money for almost a year to take this trip. New Year’s Eve in New York!! She and a few of her closest friends were planning a celebration of a lifetime. She was not going to watch all those people at time square living it up from her couch this time! No way, she was going to be in the center of it, maybe even get herself near a camera and say “hey “to everyone in TV land.

But she never made it. Something happened on the way to the hotel.

If you have ever been in the subways of New York, you know there is a schedule, a pattern, a way of conducting one’s self so not to draw attention and get from point A to point B. It’s a busy but routinely uniformed chaos, and things move smoothly and quickly and usually uneventfully. Given the time of the year, there were a lot of passengers that were not acquainted or familiar with this unspoken rule and well, attention was drawn.

Jess and her friends got into the subway car and were immediately separated in the crowd. They had prepared for this and put together a failsafe plan in the event this happened. They were to proceed to the hotel and meet in the front lobby at the check in desk. No worries. Everyone had a copy of the map, the hotel name and address and passes that should take them directly to the front of their building.

We all know that even the best made plans can experience some hiccups. This plan was in trouble, there were variables they couldn’t have seen coming. There were forces at play here that no one could have imagined were coming, and Jess and her friends just stepped into the middle of something that would forever change the course of their lives!

The entire travel time from the airport to the street their hotel was on lasted about 30minutes, and with all the people and new sights, it flew by quickly. They were separated, but because of their planning, they were unconcerned that they hadn’t see Jess since boarding at the airport. So, they grabbed their bags and up the ramp they went, along with hundreds of new excited acquaintances there to ring in the new year, and what a year 2020 promised to be.

What they couldn’t know is that because of all the pushing and shoving to get a seat, Jess was forced through 2 separate subway doors and not even in the same car as they were. She found herself in a car full of strangers. Jess was from a small town in Indiana, and had never traveled this far before, she was unaware just how far she had traveled now, but soon she would. As she began to panic, searching for her friends and trying to push her way back through the crowd, she heard a voice. “Did someone say my name?”, she thought to herself. She heard it again, drowning out all the noises in the car. A voice, almost whispering, but rising above all the other noises said, “Jess., over here” Now, she knew there was absolutely no way anyone here would know her name, so she subtly began to gaze around, like she was sightseeing. A little to the right, and then sweeping her eyes left, casually, so no one would recognize she was searching for something specific, someone, she just didn’t know who. The voice called out to her again, so quiet now, it was like a dream, she lifted her head up to try to hear better, and she caught a reflection in the advertising sign, the one telling you how good the food is at some restaurant, and that since your only blocks away, you should “come on in!”. She tried not to appear startled, but this person was looking at her as well, he smiled as he said her name, “Jess”

It was the way he said her name, like he’d known her for years and had been waiting to see her. The anticipation and welcome made her feel uneasy, yet unafraid. Like I mentioned earlier, Jess came from a small, rural town in northern Indiana. People mostly looked the same, and the man didn’t look like anyone she had ever seen before. As she turned her body to face him, she noticed he was very small in stature. Jess stood about 5’9”and this gentleman barely stood up to her belly button, small. He was wearing what looked like a robe, it was a multitude of colors, with a long green sash and he wore a beanie on his head. Not the knitted kind meant to keep your ears warm in the New York winter. It was blue with tassels and didn’t fully cover his ears, she noticed they (his ears) were misshapen a bit. Not terribly noticeable, but now that she was facing him, looking down over him, it was obvious they pointed upwards a bit. He gazed up at her like she was familiar, or like a small child gazes at a new puppy, anxious to get her attention and have all of it!

No one in the car seemed to notice him, they really didn’t notice her either, caught up in the season and hurried pace. It was like they were the only two in the whole car. Suddenly, he took her hand, and gently led her to a seat in the back that was surprisingly available. All these people, and there was a seat unoccupied?! He gestured for her to sit, and she did. He climbed into the seat next to her, she tried not to giggle as his feet scrambled on the side of the seat, trying to get up, and then as they dangled far above the floor, only then did she realize, he wasn’t wearing shoes. She couldn’t help but stare, his toes were long and thin, and his nails were the same only they curled like a pig’s tail and seemed to glow, and he had a smell about him that reminded her of something from her past that she just couldn’t remember. Her attention was drawn away from his curiousness by a loud bang, when she looked up, she noticed the entire car of people were gone.

There was a bright light surrounded by mist and a humming sound that could be compared to that of a running fan, but no breeze. The air was almost stale, and she could sense movement although they were sitting still. Butterflies? There were butterflies floating all around, why hadn’t she noticed them before? The car was full of them and that smell, it was much stronger now and she was feeling a little overwhelmed. She turned to the man, with shear confusion and fear on her face, when she realized he was now standing, and was so tall he was bending his neck so his head wouldn’t touch the ceiling. “What is going on here?” she screamed. He only needed to look at her to calm her down, she was so calm that she closed her eyes for just a moment. When she opened her eyes, she found herself alone in an old building, but how did she leave the subway? She was about to call for help when the little man reappeared.

He was smiling, his eyes were gentle, but he had a look of worry about him, it made Jess uneasy. His hands were in his pockets and Jess could tell he was holding something. From behind her, she could hear a dog barking, and soon after a small white fuzzy furball leaped onto her lap and began licking her face. “GRACIE”, she exclaimed! Jess was enveloped in emotion and began to cry. She was amazed that she knew this dog and it knew her, as the puppy consoled her, she remembered the smell she had noticed on the subway, was now filling the large room. It was a mix of men’s cologne fresh flowers and vanilla bean. It was so sweet and familiar, although she couldn’t recall why.

The man sat next to her and after a long silence, he said, “Jess, I don’t know what you remember, but we have been so worried about you”. She turned to see that he was holding a small black book in his hands, “I have been keeping this safe for you”, he mumbled under his breath. He could see the confusion in her eyes and covered her mouth so she wouldn’t say what she was thinking out loud. “We are not alone”, he whispered.” Please take this book and follow my lead. “

He turned and walked across the marble floors to a large vase that stood in the middle of the room. She followed, she noticed that the building was completely covered in artwork, paintings painted directly onto the concrete walls, like they were telling a story. She had never seen anything so beautiful, so remarkable in all her 32 years. He commented that he hadn’t seen anyone who painted with a skill like that, since she last painted there. “I can’t paint”, she said. “Are you saying I’ve been here before and did this?!!” He coughed loudly, and placed his finger over his mouth, motioning for her to be quiet. “It is extremely important that they don’t know, you don’t know” he whispered. Her head was spinning, she gripped the small leather-bound book tighter, as they stopped to examine the vase. It was obvious the vase had seen better days, it looked mosaic, like it had been broken, and someone had the patience and skills to put it back together again. It, like the walls was tattooed with colors, the design was cryptic and as she looked closer, began to talk. Not verbally, but the words were dancing in her head like a song. It took everything in her not to sing them out loud. Each letter, each picture seemed to light up as her eyes flowed over them. He could see she had returned, and she became fully aware she HAD been here before, she tore the book open like it was oxygen and she needed it to breathe!

The book opened like a long-lost friend who had the secrets of the universe to share, it automatically opened to page number 302.

After absorbing all the book had to tell, she dropped it into the lone vase. Like a key to a secret passageway, the vase began to glow, light was pouring out of every single scar and blemish and magically revealed a hidden doorway. The man grabbed Jess’s arm and said, “we must hurry, they are coming” Jess took a moment and faced the man and breathlessly said “It’s YOU” The man knowingly smiled, and they embraced. Fighting back tears, and now in a full sprint following the direction of the vase, she said “I had almost forgotten that I lost you! How does someone forget that, dad?!” He said lovingly, “you didn’t forget, you were just lost. They did this to you, we can’t let them finish what they started” She didn’t know what he was talking about, but now that she was with him, she wouldn’t allow them to take that from her again! At all cost, she would do ANYTHING to make sure that didn’t happen!!

As they rounded the corner hand in hand, with sounds of chasing footsteps closing in, she began to feel so very tired. She could feel the tugging on her arm, and her father calling her name, but her feet were like lead. She couldn’t go any further. Even in all the excitement, the chase and finding her father, the subway adventure and getting lost in New York City, she had nearly turned to stone. She felt herself slip but never felt the fall. Her eyes were so heavy, she had to close them, so in sad surrender, she did.

It was so dark

She felt so defeated and lost. Was it the same loss she had to have felt when she lost him the first time? She couldn’t get her mind to think. Just Blackness, voices sounded hollow, were they even voices or just her mind betraying her as her body had?

“JESS, JESS….AW, COME ON JESS, open the door!!!”

“WE know you’re in there!” She felt a tugging on her hand” I’m sorry dad, I just can’t.” she cried. There was a wetness on her face, but they weren’t tears, and it was warm, wiggly, and fuzzy. “Gracie!?” She was afraid what she might see, but she opened her eyes, the left one first, and then the right. It WAS Gracie, How? And there she was in HER OWN room, she noticed there was a light scent of wildflowers coming through the open window by her bed, “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” She heard herself yelling. She realized that there was someone at her door. Dazed and more than a little confused, she asked “who is it?” A deep voice she knew and loved said, “honey it’s dad”. All your girls are here to get you to the airport for your celebration trip” She ran like a bullet and tore the door open like an envelope full of money, and exclaimed, “daddy, oh daddy” He held her like a doll, confused and delighted at her greeting. She smelled him like a fresh cup of coffee and exclaimed, “oh, it’s your cologne, are you making lattés?!” He laughed and said, “Yes, vanilla, your favorite! I am so relieved to see that the money isn’t gonna change you any, you’re still, and always will be my little girl!” She stepped back and looked at him, puzzled by the comment. “Money, what money?!” All at once her girlfriends chimed in, “the $20,000 dollars you won in the story writing contest you entered!!!” “You have been up all week writing it”

Suddenly, she remembered! All the sleepless nights and odd adventures the crazy mix-ups and mishaps were all part of the story she had been writing!

It was a dream; she had imagined it all!!

And the best part was, she had captured it all in a story she titled “The Little Black Book, where your adventure can be found on the very next page!!!”