The Ken Saga

It all started with a doll. It was a joke; it wasn’t taken seriously by any of us—we just wanted a laugh. We never expected it to grow into the great shenanigan that it ultimately evolved into. Granted, it’s hilarious, but it was never our intent. We were simply looking for a fun way to pass the time and be creative.

Back in summer after high school graduation my bestie since 6th grade and I decided to stop by Target one night. We had no particular plans and felt like seeing where the night took us, open to the possibilities. We meandered throughout the aisles, content with chatting and being a bit silly. Then we stumbled upon an item in the toy aisle. We stopped dead in our tracks. There, lying innocently on the shelf, was a Ken doll, but it was no ordinary Ken doll. No, this doll claimed to be “the ultimate boyfriend.” Plus, it could talk—not preprogrammed messages but you could record messages of your own. We burst into laughter, thinking it hysterical. My bestie decided to buy it as a joke, telling others that she had a new boyfriend. We secured her new bo’ by purchasing him at the register and taking him to his new home.

Once at his new dwelling, we started joking about what he would do. My bestie had a little ring from one of those crank machines that used to be everywhere (it was probably one of those plastic rings with an animal on it). A smile crept upon her face as an idea began to form.

“What if we had Ken run up with the ring, proposing to me in the yard. We could record the whole thing,” she giggled. “We could even post it as a joke—he’s the ultimate boyfriend, after all.”

While we never ended up posting the video, my bestie did create a profile for Ken. She went for authenticity, going the extra mile to make it obvious that it was a joke, and consulted the official Ken doll webpage to flush out his character. She listed his name as Kenneth Carson, the official full name of Ken, stating his birthday as being in March. She told everyone about her boyfriend that had a beach house in Malibu, how he was a model. Little by little, Ken gained more traction as a “real boy.”

Over time, Ken even gained friends and family. Our mutual bestie decided he needed a brother, inventing “Robbie.” She decided she would “date” Robbie. Ken and Robbie went on plenty of adventures. The latest involved Robbie running off to Africa to ride elephants out in the wilderness. We haven’t heard from Robbie since. They also gave Ken a younger sister named Andrea. They invented a best friend named Luca for Ken. He even gained a friend named “Car Chan.” The story behind Car Chan is rather humorous; one afternoon while we were hanging out at my college, my bestie thought she saw a red car drive by. That would have been impossible, though; it was the middle of campus on a sidewalk. What she believed to be a red car was actually merely a student of Asian descent speed walking to his destination. Thus, she decided that Ken’s newest friend, “Car Chan,” would be born. Somehow throughout all of this (I don’t remember exactly how it came to be), Car Chan got a girlfriend that was a fish. A lot of the “Ken saga” was rather absurd. We always got a good laugh out of it, believing it to be blatantly obvious it was fiction. Afterall, so much of it was absolutely ridiculous.

My bestie truly went all out, never recognizing that others would see “truth” in what we thought was an obvious joke. Little did we know how real Ken was to others. Everyone adored Ken even though they hadn’t met him in real life (you would think that would clue them in, but I guess they believed him to be too caught up in modeling, lounging at his beach house, and traveling the world). Apparently, his online persona was more than enough for everyone else. They were absolutely convinced in his existence. Numerous times we tried to explain that he wasn’t real, that it was all a joke.

Others scoffed at my bestie when she said her boyfriend wasn’t real. “Oh, just because you’re mad at him, doesn’t mean he’s not real, you know. You can’t just erase him like that,” they’d insist. It happened so many times she was utterly astounded at the lengths they would go to, insisting his realness with gusto.

She was at a loss. She wasn’t trying to trick people into believing he was real; she just wanted to have a good laugh with a harmless joke. No matter what she said, they wouldn’t believe her. She tried to make it even more ludicrous, hoping that would shatter the spell others seemed to be under, but to no avail. Everyone wanted Ken despite being the fictional individual he was. Throughout it all, everyone believed my bestie and Ken were dating, cooing over how they were a cute couple (despite never being seen together, go figure).

It went to an even further level as one of our classmates, who claimed to be my bestie’s friend, started messaging “Ken.” Funnily enough, she was one of the individuals that proclaimed the loudest about his realness, about how even if my bestie was no longer happy with him, he still existed. I remember one night the so-called “friend” tried to get Ken to come visit her at college and spend the night. Why she thought it would work was beyond me. Heck, “Ken” would always be ridiculous, saying strange things, demanding doughnuts and instructing her to make him pancakes. “Ken” showed no interest, yet she persisted relentlessly. Late into the night, too. It was interesting. So-called “friend” was rather two-faced, and she didn’t even realize that she wasn’t talking to “Ken.” Granted, if she had heeded all of the earlier warnings, she would have recognized he wasn’t real in the first place and, therefore, couldn’t come visit her. Alas, sometimes no matter how hard one tries, others refuse to listen to reason.

Ken was a lot of fun, fictional being that he was. He would “play” online games with us. One of the online players from India, who went by the username of “Chibi,” was our favorite. There were times he’d ask if he would have a place to stay if he ever visited us in the States. My bestie replied, “Oh, sure. I have a cardboard box in my room you can use. There’s also a moldy carrot under my bed that you and Ken can share. He stays there sometimes.” Despite the absurdity of it all, he was game for it, although he refused to eat a moldy carrot. Chibi even wanted to be friends with Ken online; that led to plenty of shenanigans. Ken was quite the character, and Chibi seemed to adore his antics.

Even though Ken started as a harmless joke, a way to find joy and laughter as we transitioned into college, he grew quite rampantly. He took on a life of his own. My friends debated whether they should hire someone to play Ken since everyone else wanted to meet him so desperately, deliberating on whether or not putting up a listing on Craigslist would be wise. The masses seemed to desperately crave Ken. Ultimately, it never happened, but there was always intense laughter when Ken was involved. After all, everyone wanted a piece of that “Kenkat bar. Ken started off as a mere doll and ended up crafting quite the elaborate tale. Thanks for the laughter and memories, Ken; others may have been convinced you were a real boy, but in all honesty you were a real hoot!